Upside Down (Breaking the Rules #3) - A.M. Madden Page 0,89

away with a huff while his silence infuriated me even more. “Look at me.” Slowly, he brought his tormented eyes back to mine. “Is it insignificant that whenever thinking of our first time I will now always wonder what prompted it?”

This news tainted our union… one that had been special to me until this very moment. I would now forever link that night to a faceless prick who obviously still had his tentacles wrapped around Ricky.

“This is stupid, Cooper.”

“Stupid or uncomfortable?” Not expecting an answer, I barked, “Either way, tough shit.” One way or another, I’d make him answer me. “Who was it you were with that night, Ricky? Me or Corey?”

“You. I was with you!” His face twisted with anger. “All I felt after seeing him was disgust. Seeing him meant nothing. His texting me means even less. He’s clearly trying to make himself feel better, and I’m not giving him the opportunity. This is his issue, not mine.”

“Okay… I guess I need to take your word for it.”

Something in my comment caused him to snap as he snatched his phone up and jammed a finger on the screen.

Once he had Corey’s short text thread open, he handed me the phone. “Go on. Read them. I have nothing to hide. The day that first text came through I couldn’t believe the gall on that motherfucker… and I instantly shut him down.”

Reluctantly, I read the communication from top to bottom.

Ricky, it’s me… Corey.

How the fuck did you get my number?!

Cedric. After seeing you, I asked him if that was you I saw from afar and would love to reconnect. I gave him enough details of your life to prove that I knew you.

You don’t know me… you never did.

I deserve that, but can we talk on the phone? If need be, I’ll come to you. It’s important to me to apologize properly. Life went to shit after that year. I’m trying to make amends with all the mistakes I’ve made.

Not my problem. But consider this text as me accepting your apology. So now that’s out of the way, please lose my number, or I will block you.

No response had come after that last text on Sunday… until now when he’d asked Ricky not to hate him. Some of my suspicions dissipated, but none of what I read accounted for his urgent need that I fuck him that night.

When I looked up, he said, “See? He’s not an issue.”

I placed the phone down and sighed. “I trust you, Ricky. This has nothing to do with me thinking that you’d up and fuck him.”

“So we’re good?” He moved closer, only to be stopped by a raised hand.

“Keeping all this from me, combined with giving me no indication of what you’re feeling, is the real issue.”

“Well, then let me say what I’ve been practicing all day.” He took my hand and dragged me over to the couch. Forcing us both to sit, he twisted to face me full on. “I feel the same way you do.” The smug smirk on his face meant he was proud of himself. “I have for a long time.”

“You’re right. I can understand why those two sentences needed a ton of practice.” Jesus Christ, this man and his constant deflecting to me. “Is that it?”

“No. There’s more.” He took my hand between both of his. “I love you, Cooper.” Shit, I’d waited to hear those words for so long, but now they held lighter weight. It all seemed a touch disingenuous after that unfortunate truth had been revealed. I hated feeling that way. This was huge for him. At my reflective silence he continued. “Every annoying, logical, baffling inch of you. I love you.” When I still hadn’t responded, he prompted, “Say something.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“But?” I ignored the subtle clench in his jaw and forged on.

“But… I wish I knew that sooner.” Because I’d never know if he’d finally said it out of guilt—but I kept that to myself. “Ricky, again, I have no concern it’s Corey you want. But I can’t wrap my brain around the fact he spurred something in you. Before we started, you avoided my question when I asked what you would’ve done if Corey were to come back into your life. And now he has, and I’ll never know whether that need of yours came from regret, resolve, or confusion.”

“I’m willing to prove to you it wasn’t any of the above. He’s the past.” He placed our hands over his heart.