Upside Down (Breaking the Rules #3) - A.M. Madden Page 0,33
need to promise me one thing.”
Here it comes. “And what’s that?”
“Make yourself a priority and figure things out so you can find your happiness. If that means talking to a professional—”
“Obviously, you’ve spoken to Riana,” I cut in.
Rebecca shrugged. “She’s right. Even though I also listen to Dr. Lair, and he’s a phenomenal therapist, I get you aren’t the call-in-radio type. So maybe while you’re here, you can see someone in person.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I conceded, even knowing I wasn’t the talking-to-someone-face-to-face type either. Was I afraid of what he would conclude?
Simply put… yes.
A muffled cry for Mama came from the baby monitor. “He’s up way too soon,” Rebecca said as she maneuvered her very pregnant body off the chaise.
Marco placed a hand on her belly. “Bella, I can cancel. Ricky can handle it without me.”
“No, go. I’ll take the baby into our bed and try and have him finish his nap there.” She leaned down and gave her husband another kiss. “Coop, take a swim, grab something to eat, or just relax.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
I watched Marco watching his wife, and now that she was inside, I asked, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just worry about her. Thankfully Ricky and I are training new executive-level employees so the three of us could all take more time off and finally reap the benefits of our hard work. We’re scheduled to meet them at the port before they depart later today. They’re fresh back from their first journey without us, and I’m nervous about how it went.”
“Ah… that makes sense. Bella Viaggi is important to you.”
“My family is more important,” Marco said, stating the obvious. “I have to go. Ricky will kill me if I’m late.” A visual of Ricky pacing while running a hand through his sandy-blond hair led to remembering the feel of his lips on mine. I tried hard to keep him out of my mind, but the mere mention of him mocked those intentions. “You’ll be okay here?”
“Absolutely,” I said with a firm nod. “I’ll check on her in a bit.”
“Thanks, Coop.” Marco left me alone as I tried to envision how things would go down when I saw Ricky the next day.
I needed to figure my shit out. It wasn’t normal to obsess over something that had inexplicably slipped a new lens over the way I looked at things. That was how I viewed the situation. For whatever reason, the time I spent with him on that trip had flipped a switch, and now it was nearly impossible to flip it off. I fucking tried—and even succeeded for a few days here and there. But then, seeing a tall, fit man with the same hair color or one of my students with the same pale-blue eyes would send him hurtling back into my mind. The level of desire that tormented me for hours afterward wasn’t healthy.
Not having the desire to be with anyone else intimately, either female or male, to release the pressure, wasn’t healthy.
Fighting to tamp down an erection whenever I did allow myself to fantasize about him wasn’t healthy.
But masturbating daily while imagining his lips on my body really wasn’t healthy.
Rebecca’s plans for a quiet evening flew out the window when Antonio woke from his nap cranky and miserable. A low-grade fever, congestion, and what was clearly teething didn’t make him a happy camper. I felt bad for my nephew… and for his parents.
Antonio wanted no part of visiting with me or even playing with the toys I had brought, which was so unlike him. After a chaotic dinner, understandably, all three Puglias were in bed by nine. And now, a few hours later, I considered hitting a sports bar nearby but decided I wasn’t in the mood to think. Being in a social environment and analyzing every look I received, debating with myself if I wanted to pursue the person giving the look, was exhausting. So instead I found Marco’s liquor stash and set out to relax with a stiff bourbon while enjoying their backyard oasis.
Feeling no pain an hour or so later, my cell flashed with Riana’s picture. “Hey, beautiful girl who should’ve told me to fuck off but instead has become a lifesaver in my tumultuous seas.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Getting there.” Why bother denying it?
“Good. This may now go the way I hoped it to. Quick! Open the Galaxy Satellite Radio app on your phone. He’s talking about sexuality.”
Knowing exactly who he was, I groaned over the phone. “Ree.”