that I wasn’t going to have an abortion. But, to have her taken away like that, so unexpectedly, I just … What did I do wrong, Jake?”
Tears started flowing again and I hugged her once more.
“Nothing, you didn’t do anything wrong, Al. This isn’t your fault.”
We went through the motions of meeting with the doctor, barely comprehending what she said, and I kept Ally’s hand in mine as we drove back to her house.
“Do you want me to come inside and tell your parents?” I offered.
Ally shook her head. “No, I’ve got it. Thanks, though. And, thanks for being there today. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“Anytime, Ally, okay? I meant what I said before, I’m here for you, no matter what.”
Ally attempted a smile before leaning over to kiss me briefly on the cheek.
“You’re a good guy, Jake. I’m sorry about the way I acted before,” she said, hopping out of the Jeep and hurrying up the walk before I could reply.
Somehow, I managed to make it all the way home before breaking down myself.
Thirty-Two
Sean
“The doctor called it a missed miscarriage, which is when embryonic death has occurred but there is not any expulsion of the embryo,” Kelly said, her voice numb.
When Jake had come home from the doctor’s appointment with Ally, he’d been a mess. Kelly had called me, worried to death because Jake had come home crying and eventually passed out from exhaustion and sorrow.
I’d called Ally’s parents, who weren’t much help, and then the doctor, who explained the situation with Ally’s permission.
It had taken Jake a few days to adjust and after several attempts to talk to Ally with no success, he was back to focusing on work and school, his life changing course once again.
Kelly had been almost as devastated as Jake, and as she relayed the details to our marriage counselor, I could tell she was still depressed by the loss of the baby we’d never even had the opportunity to meet.
“That’s hard, but these things happen, especially with girls at such a young age,” Dr. Webber explained.
“Oh, I don’t blame Ally, I know it wasn’t her fault. These things happen. But for a little while I’d been so caught up with the possibility of having a baby again, even if it was my grandchild, that losing him or her with no warning was devastating to me. I know it sounds silly…”
“No, Kelly, not at all. You’ve been through so much in such a short period of time. Although it may have been years for Sean, Jake, and everyone else in your life, for you to wake up and find out you lost five years, your husband was with someone else, and your son has grown into a young man, is a huge shock. Add to that a new business, the prospect of a new grandchild who you could potentially raise, followed by the loss of that grandchild … well, I for one think you are holding up remarkably.”
“You really are,” I said, taking her hand in mine and trying not to flinch at the mention of my relationship with Madeline.
It had been a constant topic during our session. Which was to be expected, of course, but still, I felt like a complete piece of shit every time it was mentioned.
Kelly gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand in response, and told the doctor, “Thank you. It has been a lot, but I’m doing my best to come to terms with it all. Some things just take more time than others to reconcile in my mind.”
“How about you, Sean, how are you handling the upheaval?”
“Well,” I began, clearing my throat nervously. “The loss of the baby was hard for everyone, but it’s especially difficult seeing how it’s affected Jake. He’s still so young, but he was fully prepared to step up. Taking more hours at work, trying to be there for Ally in any way he could. I’m really proud of him, and it’s tough to see him hurting like this.”
“Of course, we can’t forget how much Jake has been through in his young life as well. The good thing is he is young and has his future ahead of him … but, of course, he won’t want to hear that now. I’m happy to schedule a time to speak with him as well, if you’d like.” She paused for a moment before asking, “And, how about the rest of it, Sean? How are you dealing with the