belong, with my family, and with you in any capacity. You’re my best friend. I’ll give up everything before I lose that, lose you, again.”
I barely finished speaking before he covered my mouth with his and kissed me.
“Kale, no,” I said, and broke away from him. “You’re kissing me because you’re sad.”
“No,” he said, looking at me with searching eyes, “I’m kissing you because if I don’t, I’ll lose my fucking mind.”
I sat back on my heels. “You don’t know what you’re—”
“Don’t tell me what I’m feeling or what I’m thinking,” he growled, cutting me off. “I’m sick of people thinking they know what’s best for me. I know what’s best for me.”
I felt a moment of déjà vu as he echoed my earlier words to my family.
“And what’s best for you?” I quizzed.
“You,” he growled.
I was confused with his anger.
“You’re mad at me,” I said, stating the obvious.
“I’m not mad at you, Lane,” Kale stated calmly. “I’m fucking livid with you.”
I stood up as I sensed a fight brewing. Kale did too, because he was on his feet before I was. “Why’re you angry?” I asked, confused.
“Because when I think about how things ended with us before you left me, it fucking infuriates me.”
What the hell? I thought.
I pointed my finger at him. “You walked away from me, Kale.”
“And you made damn sure of that, didn’t you, sweetheart?” he bellowed, his tone taking me by surprise. “You told me everything I wanted to hear a year too fucking late.”
“I never wanted you to look at me again the way you did the morning after we had sex, so when you told me you loved me, I lied and pushed you away to protect myself.”
“Are you kidding me?” he screamed. “Are you fucking kidding me, Lane?”
I backed away from Kale’s shaking form. He was fuming with rage.
“No!” he snarled, and shot forward into my personal space.
I wasn’t planning on leaving, but he was making sure I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
“You aren’t running away anymore,” he stated. “We’re going to hash everything out right fucking now.”
“I had to run away!” I screamed and shoved at his chest. “I couldn’t sit by and watch you play happy families with her. I couldn’t do it!”
“You didn’t give me time after that admission,” he snapped. “I realised the day after you left that I wanted you and not Drew, but you were gone, and I had a responsibility to step up with her.”
“Exactly,” I emphasised. “You had that – be thankful for it at least!”
“What the hell are you saying?” he shouted.
“If I’d told you I loved you, you wouldn’t have had Kaden!”
Kale stumbled back like I’d punched him. “Don’t you ever . . . don’t fucking ever justify your walking out on me by using my son, do you hear me?”
“I’m not justifying anything, Kale,” I said, my voice tight with emotion, “but it’s true. If I’d told you I loved you, if I’d pressed you out of your comfort zone, then Kaden would have never existed.”
Kale glared at me. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes,” I said, nodding, “I do.”
“How?” he growled.
“Because you would never have got back with Drew if you’d had me,” I whispered. “I see that now.”
Kale struggled to keep his composure. “So I’m supposed to be happy you left me? I’m supposed to be happy that I was robbed of six years with you?”
I shook my head. “No, you should be happy that I made a decision that led you to having Kaden, even if it was just for a short time, because I’m learning that having someone that special in your life is worth every second you have with them. Focus on that, focus on the time you had with Kaden, and you will be happy that you had him.”
My own words triggered something my dad had said to me the night before my uncle’s funeral. He’d said, “You can find yourself again, and possibly help Kale find peace in the process.”
“I’m realising that for myself too, Kale,” I said after a moment of laboured breathing. “It’s killing me that my uncle is gone, but I cherish all the time I had with him, every memory, every laugh and even every fight. Lavender too. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her, and I miss her every day, but it’s only because I loved her so much.”
I looked up at Kale’s glassy eyes. “I cherish every moment of our friendship before I left and lost