common, but that wasn’t the case. Both of our experiences in medicine gave us ground to share stories.
Now, I’m driving him home to his clubhouse after kissing the shit out of him. Yeah, I’m in trouble.
The thing is, kissing him felt amazing. It was like my world starting to turn a little faster on its axis and my knees went weak. Every inch of my body burned with fire. I needed more of him. I didn’t feel any of the negative thoughts that usually seep in whenever I’m with a man—not that there’s been a lot of them since the incident.
As I drive, I’m hyperaware of him sitting in the passenger seat. My synapses tingle with anticipation as he moves his hand to sit on my thigh. He feels warm, heavy and I love it.
“I had a fucking good night tonight, babe,” he says.
I smile. “I did too.”
“You sound surprised.”
“I wasn’t sure what to expect, if I’m being honest.”
“Did it meet your expectations?”
I split my gaze between the road and him, my heartbeat picking up speed. “Surpassed.”
A smile plays on his lips. “Got fucking lucky when I crashed.”
I frown at him. “You got a broken wrist and a scarred-up face. How is that lucky?”
“Never would have met you if I hadn’t.”
He squeezes my thigh. A pleasant flush of warmth goes through me and I can’t stop from grinning. This man ties me up in knots, but one thing I do know is that I feel whole when I’m with him. He doesn’t see me as a victim of sexual assault, he doesn’t know about what happened with Dr Hofstadter, so he sees the real me, not the broken version left behind. I don’t know why I’m able to trust him, why he makes me feel safe, but he does. I don’t feel like I’m different when I’m with him. I feel like the old Amy and that’s intoxicating. I forgot what that version of me looked like.
“It’s just here.” He indicates a building on the corner of the street behind wire fences. I can see the rows of bikes inside the perimeter and hear the bass of music from here. It’s a squat building, one story but it seems to sprawl across the compound it’s set in.
“This is home?”
“For now,” he tells me. “Never had anywhere to call home until I met the Sons. Before that I bounced around whatever barracks I was stationed at. London chapter of the club gave me a solid base, a foundation. Leaving wasn’t easy.”
“Why did you leave?”
He peers out the windshield and shrugs. “Club needed me here.”
“That’s mysterious.”
Shane grins. “Ain’t nothing mysterious about it. My president needed me here, so I came.” His eyes find mine. “Glad I did now.”
I want to ask what happens if we get closer and he has to go home, back to London, but we’ve had one date that wasn’t supposed to be a date. I don’t know why I’m even considering a future with him. My brain shouldn’t be thinking that way.
He reaches out and trails fingers down my cheek. I lean into his touch, unable to stop myself from wanting his heat.
“I want to see you again.”
I should say no. I should walk away, but I find myself nodding.
“When are you free next?”
“Maybe midweek.”
He kisses my mouth, his tongue swirling inside mine and my heart stops. I feel like I’m floating outside of my body. His hand slips onto my hip and I flinch. It’s a response I can’t stop, a reaction left over from my assault, but Shane pulls back immediately.
“You okay?” he demands, concern bleeding through his words. His eyes scan my face, searching as my face feels too hot.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry.”
“Babe, don’t apologize, but you flinched when I touched you. Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head. “Of course not. I just… Maybe we should slow things down a little.”
I’m starting to feel out of control, like my world is spiraling and I can’t grasp hold of anything and that scares me half to death. I’m a person who needs control in almost everything I do because that’s what I lost after the assault. Hofstadter took that from me and stole that part of myself that once thought I was invincible.
I hate him for that.
I hate him for a lot of things, but especially that. I hate him for stripping away my sense of security and making me feel tainted.
“Go as slow as you need to, Amy.”
Staring at my hands, I feel a