for me. I think she’s lying about how bad her cancer is. I’ll tell you about that another time.
Thank you for listening.
I wish you were here.
Yours,
Tommy
A lump knotted in her throat, and her tears cascaded with a vengeance. She read through the email again and again, hurting for him through every word. He was only seventeen. Just a kid. Yet he had more strength and maturity than she did at thirty-one.
Boy, did that put her pathetic life into perspective.
What the hell was she doing?
She sat back against the guardrail and pointed her toes toward the black nothingness below. Nighttime insects buzzed around her, and in the distance, the rushing river beckoned.
“Mason cheated on me.” She spat the words off the bridge.
She repeated it over and over. Every time she screamed it, the statement was no less true, but it started to lose its power over her.
So he cheated on her. Was that really worth killing herself over?
Yes.
She thought about it and asked the question again.
Maybe. I don’t know.
Mason hadn’t died in a car accident. His life hadn’t been stolen from her. He was an unfaithful husband. A dirtbag. A man who didn’t love her enough to be faithful.
This kid, Tommy, was dealing with something far more tragic, and she didn’t sense a hint of suicide in his email. He was powering through it, pushing forward, despite the excruciating pain and loneliness.
If he loved his girlfriend even a fraction as much as she loved Mason, he was hurting. Inconsolably. The more a person loved something, the harder it was to lose it.
She felt that loss at the center of her bones. It was a winless battle she didn’t want to fight.
Until she’d read that message.
Now she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t email the boy. If she did, he would stop writing to his girlfriend and lose that outlet to express his feelings.
He needed someone to hear him, and deep down, she knew she needed to listen. She couldn’t compare his misery to hers. It wasn’t even in the same realm. But she related to his words and felt his insecurities like they were her own.
He gave her strength. But was she strong enough to start over? She wasn’t seventeen anymore.
She wasn’t ninety, either. Age was just a number. An excuse to give up.
Mending a broken heart felt impossible. But that was life, wasn’t it? Everyone got their heart broken at least once. Now that she’d experienced it, she knew how to avoid it.
She wouldn’t go home. She would never fall in love again. She could focus on a career. Did she still want that?
Did she still want to jump?
It would be easier.
Since when did she ever take the easy route?
Fuck, she was just so tired. Exhaustion pushed in from every direction, pulling on her limbs and straining her insides. It hurt to breathe.
Maybe she should go back to the motel and sleep on it. But if she stepped away from this bridge, she knew she wouldn’t return.
So she stayed. Deliberated. Reread Tommy’s email. Listened to Mason’s new voicemail messages. Then she watched her video through a fresh sheen of tears.
On the screen, she looked like a raving lunatic. A sad, pitiful victim crying out for help. That wasn’t her. It was just a moment, one she’d needed to give herself. If she was brave enough, she could put the video and all thoughts of suicide behind her.
She deleted the recording. Then she sat in the silence and allowed herself to grieve.
Hours passed. She remained on the bridge until the first rays of dawn broke over the horizon.
She hadn’t slept. Hadn’t jumped. But she was no longer crying.
After spending the evening imagining what her life would look like without Mason, she had a plan. It wasn’t dreamy or exciting, but it was obtainable. She could get by with a broken heart, and maybe someday, she might find a way to be happy as a single woman.
The sunrise stretched pink and lavender fingers across the rippling surface of the river below. In the light, a fall at this height felt a lot more daunting.
Her moment to jump had come and gone.
Woodenly, she gathered her things into her bag and checked her phone.
Another email had been sent to Tommysgirl ten minutes ago. She opened the message.
Me again.
I fought with my mom last night. Turns out, I was right about her cancer.
The doctors give her six months to live.
I really need you.
Are you there?
“Yeah.” She stepped away from the ledge and trudged to her car on bare feet. “I’m here, Tommy.”
————————————
DOMINATE is book 8 in the Deliver series. While the it focuses on Tomas Dine and Rylee Sutton, Cole Hartman plays an important role in their dark love story.
Little does Cole know, he’s about to meet his own match in the final book, COMPLICATE (book 9).
CLICK HERE to read DOMINATE.
OTHER BOOKS
LOVE TRIANGLE ROMANCE
TANGLED LIES TRILOGY
One is a Promise-FREE
Two is a Lie
Three is a War
DARK COWBOY ROMANCE
TRAILS OF SIN
Knotted #1-FREE
Buckled #2
Booted #3
DARK PARANORMAL ROMANCE
TRILOGY OF EVE
Heart of Eve-FREE
Dead of Eve #1
Blood of Eve #2
Dawn of Eve #3
DARK HISTORICAL PIRATE ROMANCE
King of Libertines-FREE
Sea of Ruin
STUDENT-TEACHER ROMANCE
Dark Notes
ROCK-STAR DARK ROMANCE
Beneath the Burn
ROMANTIC SUSPENSE
Dirty Ties
EROTIC ROMANCE
Incentive
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author, Pam Godwin, lives in the Midwest with her husband, their two children, and a foulmouthed parrot. When she ran away, she traveled fourteen countries across five continents, attended three universities, and married the vocalist of her favorite rock band.
Java, tobacco, and dark romance novels are her favorite indulgences, and might be considered more unhealthy than her aversion to sleeping, eating meat, and dolls with blinking eyes.
EMAIL: [email protected]
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