she pointed out the best features of each room. She did most of the talking but when they turned silent again and his attention was elsewhere, she looked at him intently. He reminded her of other men she had encountered in passing, infrequently and always fleetingly, who in their wake left her feeling reckless and intense, afraid of what she was capable of. They brought out in her a longing that stayed with her for a day or two, like a particularly vivid dream, until it began to fade and was finally forgotten. As they continued through the rooms, she started to feel giddy and romantic. Just to indulge a fantasy, she pretended that they were looking at the place together, that she knew everything there was to know about contemporary art, that her name was not Jane, that she went to parties with painters and eccentrics, and that as they looked at each room, they wondered what piece would go best on what wall. Then she returned to earth, smiled at David, and told him that she would wait for him in the kitchen while he had a chance to look over the place on his own.
She was staring out at the grim day through the window overlooking the river when he came down the spiral staircase. The steps were white and curved and reminded her of the wings of a swan. She turned and watched him descend the final few steps. He clapped his hands together and rubbed them hungrily. “I’m going to put a bid in,” he said.
“On the first one you’ve seen?”
“I love it,” he said. “And I’m very impulsive.”
“Well,” she said, “that’s wonderful.”
They talked about what his initial offer should be and what she thought they could get the developer to come down to. He wanted it badly and suggested starting at the listing price minus ten percent, but she knew that the developer was having a hard time selling and suggested that he start at minus twenty and go from there. He thanked her for the advice and after going over a few more formalities, they left and she locked up.
In the elevator, he surprised her. “Remember how I said I was impulsive?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Well, I say we celebrate.”
“Celebrate?”
“A drink, my treat. A deal like this can’t happen every day, can it?”
“Well. Nothing is, you know, final yet.”
She felt dull and sobering, having said that.
“I can promise you this,” he said. “I’m buying that apartment. And at this hour—”
He moved to reveal the watch beneath his cuff. She liked the watch and she liked the graceful way he brought it out into the light.
“—we can just avoid scandal.”
For one fleeting instant, her sobriety was tested as it had not been since the day Tim picked her up from Cedarview. For one fleeting instant, her way of life, necessary for normal healthy functioning, struck her as totally lifeless, drained of spontaneity and energy and pleasure. She wanted nothing more than to have a drink with him. She wanted to get herself lost inside the darkness of a neighborhood bar, become unrecognizable to herself, gorge on the excitement of a stranger and risk everything—the languorous mornings, the illicit lunch dates, the companionable nights—risk it all for the sake of the risk itself. Then, the moment passed.
“I’m not much of a drinker,” she said.
“Oh, don’t make me beg,” he said. “Everyone enjoys a glass of champagne.”
“Especially recovering alcoholics,” she said.
He leaned back in his tracks and winced. “That was stupid of me,” he said. “I would have never suggested.”
“How could you have known?” she said. “Don’t think a thing of it.”
“Dinner, then,” he said.
His look was unwavering. He was so prepossessing that it didn’t seem brazen. It seemed merely part of his charm that he didn’t give a damn about whether she was married or not. She was flattered, mystified, exhilarated. She was also, after a moment, steady.
“I’m having dinner with my husband tonight,” she said, just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. He smiled and gestured for her to go first.
Walking through the lobby, she felt effervescent. She had shown resolve. They stepped out together onto Greenwich Street just as night was falling. She was surprised by the sudden chill in the air. “It’s plummeted,” she said, as her phone began to ring.
“At least it’s stopped raining,” he said.
“I have to take this,” she said to him. “I’ll just be a second.”
Later she thought back on that moment, and the ironies were not lost