“So what now?” I asked, feeling like the weaker man in that moment.
“I’ll give you time to think. I’ll need it too, and once we’re at peace with ourselves, we can talk about us again. Right now…I think we both have to work on ourselves, Wells.”
And I knew she was right.
Us together…we weren’t the problem.
I kept my eyes on her and there was still hope inside of me, but I knew this was where we had to take a step away from each other and find ourselves—our truths—first.
“Promise me this isn’t goodbye forever,” I whispered.
Jesus fucking Christ, Wells! Now you really sound like the biggest fucking idiot on earth.
Rooney laughed softly, sadness still lingering in her eyes. “No, silly. Just for a little while.”
Rooney
The last thing I needed was to see AJ in my apartment after telling Wells that we needed to take a step back from each other.
My heart was breaking, but I knew it was necessary so I could fix myself and finally be able to love the man who had shown me so much in the past few weeks.
Love.
Not a word I liked to use that often, but I had to stop lying to myself and just be honest.
I loved that man, and my damn mind could go fuck itself because I wouldn’t continue to deny it.
My heart was right all along, and I damn well knew it.
And now it was my turn to fix myself, fix my stupid issues, before telling him just how I felt.
I turned the corner into the kitchen and ignored Evie and AJ’s stares while they sat on the couch.
I needed something strong.
Maybe a shot of vodka or two. Just something to give me enough of a kick to finally start dealing with my own shit before I bothered anyone else.
I was waiting on a sarcastic comment coming out of Evie’s mouth, but to my surprise, it was anything but sarcastic.
“Wanna talk about it?” she asked, standing in the doorway with her head tilted to the side and her arms crossed over her chest.
Did I wanna talk about it?
Hell, I was feeling as if I was slowly going crazy.
“Why’s AJ here?” I asked, looking at her and then at Aiden who didn’t take his eyes off me.
“He came by with Jonathan earlier. Do you want me to kick him out?” she asked.
I looked back at Evie, then shook my head and sighed. “I need to clear my head before I can talk about it.”
I grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured some into a glass, and after taking two shots, I scrunched up my nose and looked at Evie again.
“This was needed,” I told her.
“Of course.” She laughed softly, then pulled me into a tight hug.
“If you need anything, just call out to me, okay?”
I closed my eyes and hugged her back before nodding and stepping away from her again.
“Before you go…do I need to beat him up?” she asked.
I smiled, knowing she’d break a guy’s neck if they ever hurt me, but this wasn’t the case.
“He did nothing wrong. We both have our demons, that’s all.”
Evie studied my face to make sure I wasn’t making anything up, but out of all the people I knew, she had to be the first to know how much I struggled with opening up.
She gave me a tight smile and rubbed my arm before I headed out of the kitchen without giving AJ another look.
I didn’t have time or space for him right now.
I got into bed and curled up into a ball underneath the covers, staring at the wall in the dim moonlight.
I’d have to start from the beginning.
Was there a time that made me become the person I was today? Had anyone said something to me to make me protect myself from getting hurt?
Or was it just me?
I’ve never thought about being in a relationship, and when puberty hit, I wasn’t as interested in men as much as Evie was.
There was a time I thought I wasn’t capable of dating or giving someone else my love, but I soon found out that it wasn’t the case.
I had love in me which I couldn’t keep inside of me forever, and the second I realized Ira and Wells were more special to me than I had anticipated, I knew they would be the ones I wanted to give my love to.
Why are you like this, Rooney?
Now it was up to me to prove to myself that committing to something