has hair. I want someone who’ll make me laugh and laughs at all my stupid jokes. Who doesn’t mind that I wake up grumpy and don’t like to talk until after I’ve had my coffee and work the crossword puzzle. I want to feel that zing you get when you meet the woman you know you were meant to spend the rest of your life with.”
Annie sucked in a breath.
“Oh my,” whispered Charlotte.
“He’s … perfect,” said Mom.
Annie couldn’t agree more.
A man dressed as a duck came up to Hannah, interrupting her conversation with Sam.
“I hate to ask,” said Annie, “but why is that guy dressed like a duck?”
“Every season someone does something outrageous,” said Mom. “It helps them get noticed.”
Millie snorted. “This is actually pretty tame. One year a guy came in wearing nothing but a loincloth.”
Sam was forced to say goodbye to Hannah so that she and the Duck could get in some “quality” time. Their conversation was so boring and pretentious that Annie had to eat a third chocolate chip cookie just to get through watching it. Then one of the bachelors serenaded Hannah with an “original” song he’d written about her. Another bachelor brought her a donut from his grandmother’s bakery. One guy read a poem that left Hannah in tears afterward.
“FYI, he didn’t write that,” Annie shouted at the screen. “It was written by Keats.”
“Isn’t this better than discussing that sad Jodi Picoult book?” asked Millie. “Who do you think Hannah will cut tonight?”
“Definitely the guy in the duck suit,” said Mom.
Charlotte nodded. “Bless his heart.”
“She’ll keep the born-again ex-football player,” said Millie. “He’s husband material.”
Annie’s cell phone pinged. It was a text from her boyfriend, Walter.
How’s book club?
Annie wasn’t about to admit to watching some silly reality TV dating show. Walter only watched PBS or the occasional golf tournament. Not because Walter played golf, but most of the partners at the law firm he worked at did, and Walter said it was necessary for him to be able to discuss the sport intelligently. Television, he said, was a mind suck for the masses.
She texted him back. We’re having fun.
Not exactly the truth but not exactly a lie. Technically they weren’t discussing a book, but she wasn’t having a horrible time either.
Mom glanced over curiously. “Who are you texting?”
“Just a friend.” She wasn’t trying to be duplicitous, but if she told them it was Walter, then they would all want to talk about him. Annie didn’t want to have to tell them for the umpteenth time that she and Walter still weren’t engaged, let alone that they hadn’t even talked about marriage for months. But this was nothing like the Russell fiasco. Annie wasn’t uprooting her life and career to chase after a man. That lesson had been learned and catalogued in the “Never Again” column of her life.
I want to feel that zing you get when you meet the woman you know you were meant to spend the rest of your life with.
She mentally shook her head. Get a grip, Annie. It was a reality TV dating show.
Eventually, she and Walter would get engaged. It was just a matter of finding the right time in their careers. Everything in Annie’s life was just the way she liked it. Neat, orderly, predictable. Which might sound boring to some people, but who needed a roller coaster when the carousel was perfectly wonderful? Besides, no one ever fell off a carousel and broke their neck, did they?
She was about to switch off her phone when a Twitter notification came across the screen. It was from a celebrity she followed. Curious, Annie tapped on the icon to open the Tweet.
LOVE LOVE LOVE Gas Station Sam! #SingleGal.
She scrolled down to see more Tweets.
Gas Station Sam is a hottie! #SingleGal
If Hannah doesn’t want him, I do! #GasStationSam #SingleGal
Millie pointed to Annie’s phone. “What are you looking at?” she asked, slurring her words.
“It looks like this Sam you all love is pretty popular.”
“What do you mean?” asked Charlotte.
Annie handed her phone to the older woman. “See? All those comments are about him.”
Charlotte pulled out her readers and studied the screen. “How do I see more of these?”
Annie showed her how to access the Tweets.
“What are the pound signs for?” she asked.
“Those are hashtags. It lets other people know what you’re talking about. See, she’s hashtagged Single Gal so people know she’s referencing the show.”
Charlotte handed the phone to Mom, who then handed it over to Millie. “There’s hundreds of these hash browns