brownies her momma made for Brady like she was the best girlfriend on the planet, and I tried to ignore her by straining to hear what Asa and Willa were talking about. Interestingly enough, so was Brady. He wasn’t paying any attention to Ivy either. And I could tell he felt guilty about that. Which made no sense. In the least. Why was he even wasting time with her? I never understood that.
“Brownies are good, but not much beats those cookies of Mrs. Higgens’s,” I said, wanting to shut the girl up so I could hear Willa.
“I second that. Those cookies are incredible,” West agreed.
Ivy shut up, although she looked ready to toss us both across the room. I watched as Willa tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, and a shy smile played on her lips. Asa was working his charm, apparently. She was about to blush.
And I was jealous as hell.
If I could stop watching this, it would help. But I was punishing myself. Why, I wasn’t sure. The universe had chosen to punish me by giving me life. That should be enough for any one person.
I wondered if Willa felt the same. Her mother hadn’t wanted her for eleven years, and now she was back here, unwanted again. We had that in common. Children born to those who hadn’t wanted us but kept us all the same. If anyone could understand me, it would be Willa. She’d be able to truly get what I was feeling. She’d felt similar.
But she deserved more. I was damaged. I’d never be good for her. It was time Willa had a chance at something better. Wishing I could be that didn’t help either of us. I had to let it go.
People Make Mistakes
CHAPTER 35
WILLA
The entire lunch he’d watched me. Why? He was avoiding me like I was going to cling to him and demand marriage over a kiss. If he was so scared of getting near me and my suddenly turning into Crazy Girl, then why was he watching me? It was annoying. It messed with my head, and I was thinking agreeing to go to that dance tonight was a bad idea.
The blue dress I had worn to homecoming last year at my school hung on my closet door. So many memories went with that dress. They all had Poppy in them. We had fun that night. It was before the pot smoking had started and the drinking. Life had been safe then. Easy.
Why had we thought getting high was better? Why hadn’t we stayed that way? We’d had fun back then. We had laughed and enjoyed life. But we’d let one guy into our world, and it had changed it all. Forever.
I wasn’t sure I could wear that dress. Not again. I sank down onto the edge of my bed and stared at it. The desire to shove it back in my closet and curl up in bed was strong. I couldn’t though. I’d said yes when Asa had asked me to the dance. I hadn’t thought about it. I’d just said yes.
He was too nice for me to tell him no now. I liked him, and he seemed to like me. Then I had to go to this dance. But first I had to go to the game and watch him play. Lifting my eyes back up, I looked at the only dress I owned that was remotely appropriate. But I just couldn’t wear it.
Sighing, I threw myself back on the bed and closed my eyes. I had three hours to get ready before Nonna would have to take me to the game. I wouldn’t see Asa until afterward, seeing as they didn’t go home on game day. He was with his team right now. My other option had been to ride with Ivy, and I’d opted out of that offer. She was nuts.
A knock on my bedroom door was brief before Nonna opened it on up. There were no locks on the interior doors of the house. There never had been. When I was younger, I hadn’t cared. Now I liked my privacy, so it kinda sucked.
“You decide on what you’re wearing?” she asked me.
I glanced back at the dress and frowned. “No.”
Nonna followed my gaze, then walked into the room a little ways. “That the one you wore last year?”
Nodding, I looked away from it again. I hadn’t been able to throw it out. Wearing it was too painful, but it was a memory