we get so far away from that moment?
00:16:51:43
Now they’re gone. All of them.
And it’s my fault. My stupid plan. We should have left them at the hospital with the Unwilling. Barclay and I should have just gone in ourselves. I should have fought harder to keep Cecily out of it—I should have fought harder to keep them alive.
More tears spill over my eyes. I can’t hold it together anymore.
“We don’t know what happened,” Barclay says again.
“What, you think they got out of IA headquarters, away from a guy with a gun who was shooting at them? You and I both know that office layout, tell me how that’s a possibility.”
He doesn’t say anything.
I hold a hand over my eyes and try to will the tears to stop, but they seem to have a mind of their own.
“This isn’t over,” Barclay says, grabbing my shoulders.
I don’t say anything. I have nothing to say.
“Look at me,” Barclay says, giving my shoulders a jerk that shakes my whole body.
I look at him.
“Pull yourself together. We don’t know what happened.”
I shake my head because I can’t get the words out.
“Those shots could have been fired at the air,” Barclay says. “Even if they’re hit, it might not be fatal. I’m not going to sit around waiting for IA to find me, and neither are you. We have a limited amount of time before they start doing a multiverse sweep or someone realizes that the best place to hide is in a world where no one is looking.”
“We don’t have anything left,” I say, because wasn’t this our Hail Mary play? How can we win if the conspiracy goes as high as the deputy director of IA?
“There’s always something left.”
00:16:48:09
“This is just a setback,” Barclay says.
“A setback?” I could punch him. “Ben and Cecily could be dead, and if the deputy director is involved, couldn’t he be making an announcement to IA that you’re crazy or something? Can’t he bury this?”
Barclay shakes his head and starts pacing. “I mean, he could try, sure, but the order to disregard an investigation would have to come from the director.”
Suddenly his eyes widen and he turns around, grabbing me by the shoulders. “I know what we need to do.”
I wince and remember that I have at least two bullets lodged in my vest. Even though they didn’t do the damage they could have, they’re still a throbbing pressure against my skin.
“We’ll go straight to the director’s house and talk to him,” Barclay says, letting go of me.
“How do we know he’s not involved?” I’m starting to feel like the whole multiverse is against us.
“Don’t you see, I knew someone high up had to be involved because of the way that paperwork got erased or rewritten. But Director Franklin is older. He’s about to retire. He’s been giving a lot of his responsibilities up to Struzinski.”
“That doesn’t make him innocent,” I say. I don’t want to rain on Barclay’s plan, but I can’t help myself. We’re in a colossal mess right now. “If the deputy director is involved, who says the director isn’t? All of IA could be involved!”
“They’re not,” Barclay says through gritted teeth. He’s clearly trying to keep from getting emotional, and I’m impressed with his willpower. “We just need to get to the director and he’ll help us.”
I can’t listen anymore. “How can you possibly think that!” I yell.
“Because I don’t know who else to trust!” Barclay screams back. He turns his back on me and walks a few paces away. “This isn’t just happening to you, you know.”
“I know,” I say, my voice thick. I haven’t really been thinking about what he’s going through—if he’s scared for his family or if he’s worried he’ll never be able to go home.
“We’ll go to the director’s house, we’ll get a task force set up—”
“How can you still have faith in them?” I ask.
He turns and looks at me, his eyes glassy. “I have to,” he says. “I’m still good. Nothing would make me sell out. Eric was still good.”
I don’t remind him that Eric’s dead, that they killed him.
“This was my dream, as a kid, to be IA and to make a difference.” His voice cracks slightly, and he takes a deep breath. “There have to be people left who are like me.”
“What if there’s not?” I say. It’s callous, but I have to say it. We can’t walk into a trap because Barclay is feeling sentimental.
“Janelle, there are terrible people out there, in every world,” he