first time here, Mr. Jackson?" She spoke quietly, so only those closest to him would overhear.
"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled, looking away. "I wouldn't 'a come, but our Lil said as I 'ad ter. Always fussin', she is. She's a real good girl. Said as they'd find the money some'ow." He lifted his head, defiantly now. "An' she will, ma'am. Yer won't be done short, wotever!"
"I'm sure," she agreed softly. "But it wasn't money I was concerned about."
A spasm of pain shot through him, and for a moment he gasped for breath. She did not need Mr. Thorpe's medical training to see the ravages of disease in his gaunt body. He almost certainly had consumption, and probably pleurisy as well, considering the way he held his hand over his chest. He looked considerably over sixty, but he might not actually have been more than fifty. There would be little the physician could do for him. He needed rest, food, clean air and someone to care for him. Morphine would help the pain, and sherry in water was an excellent restorative. They were probably all impossibly expensive for him. His clothes - and even more, his manner - spoke of extreme poverty.
He looked at her with disbelief.
She made up her mind. "I'll speak to Dr. Warner and see if you shouldn't stay here a few days - " She stopped at the alarm in his face. "Rest is what you need."
"I got a bed!" he protested.
"Of course. But you need quiet, and someone who has time to look after you."
His eyes widened. "Not one o' them nurses!" The thought obviously filled him with dread.
She struggled for an argument to persuade him, but all that came to her lips were lies, and she knew it. Many of the nurses were kindly enough, but they were ignorant and often hard-pressed by poverty and unhappiness themselves.
"I'll be here," she said instead. She had placed herself in a position where she had to say something.
"Wot are yer, then?" His curiosity got the better of his awe.
"I'm a nurse," she answered rashly, and with a touch of pride. "I was out in the Crimea."
He looked at her with amazement. The word was still magic.
"Was yer?" His eyes filled with hope, and she felt guilty for how simply she'd done it, and with so little consideration of what she could fulfill. If only they could persuade Thorpe to see how much it mattered that all nurses should inspire this trust, not in miracles but in competence, gentleness and sobriety.
But how could they, when they were given no training and it was so blatantly apparent that the doctors had little but contempt for them? The anger inside her was rock hard; unconsciously her body clenched.
Harry Jackson was still staring at her. She must talk to him, reassure him. No one could heal his illness. Like half of the people in this room, he was long past that kind of help, but she could comfort his fear, and for a time at least alleviate his pain.
The physician came to the door and called the first patient. He looked frustrated and tired in a clean frock coat and trousers that were a little wrinkled at the knees. He also knew he could do little that was of real help.
Hester moved to another patient and talked with him, listening to his tales of family, home, the difficulties of trying to make ends meet, let alone to pay for medicine, when you were too sick to work.
A nurse walked through the room carrying an empty pail, its metal handle clinking against the rings that held it. The woman was stout, dark, about forty. She did not look to either side of her as she passed the waiting people. She hiccuped as she went out of the far door. She was in a world of her own, exhausted by hard physical labor, lifting, bending, carrying, scrubbing. Mealtimes and, more important, drink times would be the highlights of her day. Then she could share the odd joke with the other women, and the brief euphoria of alcohol which shut out reality.
It was all a long way from the dream of a sweet-faced woman with a lamp in her hand who would murmur words of hope and miraculously save the dying.
And that too was a long way from the passionate, tireless, short-tempered, vulnerable woman who sat in her house passing out orders, pleas and advice - almost all of it good - and being stoically ignored