Twisted Love (Modern Romance #3) - Piper Lawson Page 0,55
But our friends still hung out. We started hanging out more, and he was just… Ben.” My chest squeezes. “It felt like we kept running into each other.”
"So you never told him."
“No.” The same guilt from the other night twists at my stomach. “He asked me once if I’d heard from her, and I told him an unsigned postcard from Paris. He shut down the moment I said the words. He must’ve liked her, Lil. There’s no other reason for him to ask about her. It had been months. I just couldn’t tell him. After everything that’d happened… I didn’t want him to leave me too.”
Vi would’ve laughed if she’d known—as least if she wasn’t jealous that I’d gotten Ben when she had made it clear she was into him.
But in the end, like every other guy in my life to that point, he would’ve rather had her than me. If I thought he was different, that somehow he wanted me when he didn’t want her… I was wrong.
And that had fucked me up for longer than I care to admit.
“I didn’t know,” Lily murmurs, stretching out her arms.
I let her hug me, returning the squeeze.
“Well. That’s why I don’t want you rushing into anything,” I say into her shoulder.
“In case I sleep with a guy who mistakes me for my twin?” she quips, and I snort.
“In case you make a mistake you can't forget.”
She pulls back with a frown. “What happens next? You have feelings for him.”
“He doesn’t have them for me. At least not in the same way.”
“You don’t know that,” she argues. “Maybe he just needs evidence he can’t ignore.”
The phone on my desk dings, and I go to retrieve it. Lily follows, peering over to glance at the screen as I unlock it.
“The photographer’s pictures from the wedding shoot,” I explain as I pull them up and flip through.
They’re good, thank God. Aiden looks like he’s in the moment, as if whatever his bride said to him finally sank in.
I need this to work out. There are still hurdles, but this means I’m still in the game.
I swipe and one of me and Ben pops up.
“Whoa.” Lily swipes the phone from my hand.
“Lil, what are you doing?”
“Overheating.” She takes off around the room. “Was this their wedding shoot or yours?”
I catch up to her as she flicks to another image. In it, Ben and I are in profile. He’s holding me close, one hand possessively on my back, his eyes lowered so I can’t make out the emotion in them.
But I can see the emotion in mine. I’m looking up at him as if he’s the only man in the world.
“They wanted inspiration for poses,” I murmur, but my throat is dry.
“This is inspiring all right.”
I turn away for a second, shove a hand through my hair. I’m not embarrassed by my feelings, but I’m also aware that what I’m giving him in that photo is way more than either of us bargained for.
When I turn back, she’s typing on my phone. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” she says innocently before handing the phone back. “I might be out late tonight studying.”
“No more deflowering. If you’re going to have sex, do it with a guy you actually like. Okay?“
“Are we talking ‘I’ll buy you a coffee’ like or ‘let’s go halfsies a phone plan’ like?”
“How about ‘I respect you and trust you enough to share a super personal experience with you’?”
She nods dutifully, but I swear there’s relief on her face. “Deal.” Then the relief is replaced by something that has me narrowing my gaze in suspicion. “Just remember. What I do, I do from love.”
I stare after her, mystified, as she rushes from my office.
Until I open my text messages and see she sent Ben the photo.
19
Ben’s office building’s always been impressive, and I appreciate the glass as I head for the elevator.
I smooth down my dress on the way up. I could’ve gone home and changed into something more casual. But this was easy. It’s not as if I want to see his reaction, especially since I didn’t get a text in response to Lily’s message.
The elevator doors open and I’m partway down the hall when a man walks out of an office.
“Xavier,” I say, surprised. Stupidly, I hadn’t worked through the part where Ben’s colleagues would see me.
“Daisy, how lovely to see you again. I trust you’re here to see Ben. Would you like to get a coffee until he’s available?”