wanted to repeat every gesture, go back to that bed and relive all the kisses, the hands, the tongues, and his body everywhere, though she’d have been equally content simply to take a photo of him and keep it next to her heart forever.
Marcus opened his lips as if he wanted to say something important, but then he just said, ‘Nothing,’ and fell back heavily on to the bed.
That night, they walked home from work under an unusually starry sky, with Marcus smoking and Penny lost in thought until she broke the silence by asking him why he’d come to the library earlier.
He inhaled a great lungful of smoke and said, ‘I wanted to know why Francisca’s answer hadn’t come yet and to remind you to bring me that money, but I saw you were busy so I left.’
‘I wasn’t busy. I was only talking to Igor about . . .’
Marcus gave her a wry smile, expelling smoke through his nose, the corners of his mouth pulled up, his eyes dark except where they glinted with tiny reflections of the streetlamps.
‘Why should I care what you and Igor were talking about?’
‘You could have stayed.’
‘Oh no. I saw your game and I wanted to let you play it.’
‘What game?’
‘You’re clearly looking to be with some rich jerk like your slutty friend Rebecca, huh? You tried it with Grant but it went wrong, so now you’re throwing yourself at Igor. I don’t blame you, OK? You should try to get out of this shithole any way you can, if you can’t use your own brains to do it.’
Penny stumbled so hard with shock that she had to spread her arms slightly to keep her balance. ‘What on earth are you talking about?’
‘No need to overact. I’m not buying it.’
‘I’m not jumping on Igor, and I sure as hell didn’t jump on Grant! How dare you? You really are an asshole, aren’t you!’
‘Is that news to you?’
‘Sometimes you look almost human, Marcus, but other times you make me regret . . .’
‘Sucking me off?’
‘Stop that!’
‘That’s what you did, wasn’t it? And I have to admit that it wasn’t so bad in spite of your lack of experience. You have a natural talent for that kind of work.’
Penny whirled around, poised to hit him, but Marcus was faster and stronger and stopped her, slowly bringing her wrist behind her back.
‘I know your game, Penny, and actually I like it,’ he said. They stood in the middle of the sidewalk, in a pool of darkness that hollowed out their features.
‘I’m really not engaged in any games! And let go of my arm, will you?’
‘I said I like it. You show Igor your good-girl face and use me as a fast fuck – and that’s what I’m made for. We’re on the same page. Of course, you would have done better to lose your virginity to him, just to give him the satisfaction. I’m sure you would’ve gotten a nice ring and who knows how many other expensive gifts out of it.’
Penny pursed her lips and stared at him in horror. Her cheeks were on fire and her heart felt skewered, like he’d stabbed her with a sword, but she had no intention of letting Marcus win by crying or humiliating herself. She wanted to repay him with his own cynicism, so as not to seem weak and defeated. She would far rather he saw her as a whore than a victim.
‘Let go of my arm,’ she told him again. And then she added, trying her hardest to maintain a similar level of confidence, ‘I’m glad we agree on at least one point, namely that the sex is good. You use me and I use you. Anything else is our own business.’
‘I like it when you set clear boundaries. So shall we go do it?’
‘Hell yeah!’
They started making out on the stairs. On each floor, in the usual darkness of that hour, Penny felt Marcus’s hands under her skirt. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t afraid of the dark. Suddenly, he leaned her against the wall and kissed her in a way that made her blood shoot hot and cold through her veins. Her arms pinned over her head, his leg between her legs, his tongue soft as melted chocolate, deep and very hot, his lips biting hers.
They finally made it up to the attic, and made a dash for the couch where he yanked down her stockings with a kind of disdain,