Trust Me - Sheryl Browne Page 0,56

smile as he patted the duvet next to him.

Twenty-Two

Emily

Having texted Millie and Ben to say she was running late, Emily attempted to compose herself as she drove home. She needed to mentally prepare herself for any questions they might have. Clearly they were both aware something was going on – Ben was shutting himself away in his room, as if he wasn’t already introverted enough; Millie was storming out and staying out, which caused Emily’s heart to twist with worry as she tried to imagine who she was with. She knew she had to be honest with them. To what degree, though? They’d heard her and Jake arguing. Should she say they were trying to work things out, which seemed unlikely after the heartbreaking argument they’d had? Prepare them for the possibility that their marriage might be irretrievably broken? She shouldn’t be having this meeting without Jake, but she couldn’t bring herself to include him when she believed he was lying to her. She couldn’t just leave her children wondering either, not when it was obvious – to her, at least – that they were suffering.

She still couldn’t believe that Jake seemed to think she was the one sending the letters, let alone that he had voiced his accusation – in earshot of Tom and Fran, of all people. Even Millie called the woman ‘Megamouth’. It would be the topic of conversation in no time, everyone imagining that she was responsible for what had happened to poor Zoe. To Natasha.

Her own husband believed she was. Emily felt a cold hollowness inside her, as if he’d already left her. He’d decided she’d sent the notes before he knew the contents of the email. In telling him, she realised that she’d only given him more reason to think that she had. Did he imagine now that she’d deleted the email to cover her tracks, assuming he believed it ever existed? He probably thought she’d sent the letter to Dean to deflect suspicion from the fact that she’d sent the first one, to Michael.

Why was she bothering trying to fathom out what he thought? she wondered, dangerously close to tears all over again as she pulled onto the drive outside their beautiful house. The painful reality was, he did think it was her. His anger had been palpable, the accusation and disappointment in his eyes unbearable. It seemed to Emily that there was no coming back from this. He clearly considered her capable of such a horrendous thing, as other people had in the dark days after Kara’s death. She’d wondered for a very long time herself whether she was. Whether that was why she’d blanked out the details of what had happened on the canal bank on that fateful day – because she didn’t want to imagine herself capable of such horrific actions.

Her heart heavy, she let herself in through the front door. ‘Just me,’ she called. Getting no reply, she glanced into the kitchen and the lounge, and then, realising that Millie and Ben were upstairs, went up herself to freshen up.

Hearing Millie’s voice coming from Ben’s room, she paused on the landing, surprised. Then, wrestling with her conscience, she took a step closer. She couldn’t quite believe she was now eavesdropping on her children as well as her husband, but if it meant she might find out more about how they were feeling, then she felt she had no choice.

They appeared to be having a conversation, rather than bickering, which was miraculous. ‘Do you think Dad has had an affair?’ she heard Millie say, causing her heart to expand excruciatingly in her chest.

‘Strikes me it’s one of the perks of the job,’ Ben answered moodily. Emily supposed he was referring to Tom, whose reputation both the children were aware of. ‘Makes you wonder why you’d bother having a meaningful relationship, doesn’t it?’

‘Like you wouldn’t want a meaningful relationship with Nicky,’ Millie teased.

Now Emily was definitely surprised. Ben had feelings for Nicky? Nicky at the surgery? She’d had no idea. He had been in a few times, but he’d barely uttered a word to her. He had looked at her, but now that Emily came to think of it, she did remember being slightly wary of the way he had looked at her. She supposed it was natural for a teenage boy to give a young woman an appraising look, but it had caused her a moment’s consternation. She didn’t know what was going on in her children’s lives, she realised,