all said and when Annalee and her mother had held on to each other again, and when her mom had begged God for perfect healing… Annalee had one question.
“Please… can I see Tommy?”
“Yes. Of course.” Her mother dried her eyes again. “You’re going to beat this, honey. We’ll pray. Everyone will pray.”
Annalee’s eyes were still dry. She was too shocked to cry. A strange calm came over her. If she was sick, then it was time to get better. “God won’t leave me.”
“Never. Not ever.” Her mother kissed her forehead. “I need to call your father. He’ll be home in a few days but… he needs to know.”
“Okay.” When her mom left, Annalee walked to the window and pulled her phone from her sweater pocket. Tommy’s practice was over by now. Normally she would text him but today demanded more than that.
He answered on the first ring. “Annalee. I just got to my car.”
She couldn’t find her voice, couldn’t make herself say the words.
“You got your results?” Tommy knew. He always knew.
“Can… can you come here, Tommy?” She didn’t want to cry. Not now. “Please… hurry.”
“I’m on my way.”
Annalee waited for him on the front porch. In happier times, she and Tommy would sit out here and talk about politics or Bible stories or funny conversations they’d had that week. She slipped into her jacket and pulled it tight around her. The air was cooler, autumn barely holding its line against the coming winter.
It didn’t matter how thick the jacket was, Annalee couldn’t get warm.
Not until she was in Tommy’s arms again.
* * *
ANNALEE WAITED TILL they were at their bench, the one at White River Park with the best view of Indianapolis. It sat at the foot of the prettiest tree in the city. She used to say time stood still here.
Tommy sat close to her and took her hands. “Are you cold?”
“Not now.” She lifted her face to the setting sun. “Can we just sit here? For a minute?”
“Sure.” Tommy’s face was pale, same as Annalee’s mother’s. And he didn’t even know the truth yet. His hands were warm against hers. “We don’t have to talk.”
Annalee nodded. She needed a minute. The truth was still a terrible nightmare, nothing real or possible. How could she put into words something she was only beginning to grasp? She pressed in closer to Tommy, her knees against his. The sun moved lower in the sky. In an hour it would disappear behind the buildings and night would come.
Which would lead to tomorrow. And tomorrow would lead to Wednesday.
She could do nothing to stop the ticking of the clock. And with that certainty Annalee drew a steadying breath and looked straight at Tommy. As much as she wanted to sit here and pretend it was yesterday, here was the truth. “I have cancer. It’s bad.”
There. She had said it.
Tommy searched her eyes, her expression. He stared down at the place where their hands were joined and then he turned his face to hers again. “No.” He shook his head. “You’re… you’re perfect.” He released one hand and placed his fingers against her cheek. “Who told you this?”
“My doctor talked to my mom.” She didn’t blame Tommy for not believing the news. She didn’t believe it, either. “It feels like… it’s all happening to someone else.”
But it wasn’t. And now that she’d told him the hardest part, she filled in the details. “I go in tomorrow for more tests.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “And on Wednesday they’ll admit me to Indiana University Health Medical Center for treatment.”
Tommy didn’t stand or pace or look like he wanted to run. He put his arm around her and held her closer than before. “I… I don’t understand.”
She told him what she knew. The tumor in her chest was the size of an orange. Stage 4. Which was why the tumor was too big to be removed. Her doctor would give her six rounds of treatment to eliminate the mass and kill the cancer in her lymphatic system. “Several days in the hospital… then time at home for a couple weeks. Again and again. Six rounds.”
The sharp exhale that came from Tommy sounded like he’d been punched. She could feel him looking up, turning his face to the sky. “Why the hospital? For the treatment?”
That had been one of her questions, too. “The medicine is strong.” She started to shiver again. “Too strong for me to be home.”
Tommy eased back enough to look into