all of them, and the ones who were, I guess in the end they weren’t my friends anyway and I need to stop thinking about them. I check my watch. Maybe Emily can take a few minutes and meet me for coffee.
The second I think of her, my phone rings, and I smile when I see it’s her. I grab my purse, thank Kat again, and step outside into the sunshine. It does little to soothe my bruised soul. I slide my finger across my phone.
“Hey Emily, I was just thinking of you. Are you free?”
“I’m cheap, but I’m not free,” she teases, and I appreciate her trying to put me in a better mood. She’s been checking in with me for the last two weeks. Jules has called a few times, too, asking me to call Cason, give him a second chance. But I can’t call him. He hurt me, far more than Evan ever did.
And why is that, Kinsley?
Because I loved him. Correction: I still love him. But I should do myself a favor and get over him. Wallowing in my own self-pity is absolutely ridiculous. I glance at the ring on my finger. Why the hell am I still wearing it, and why haven’t I started the annulment process?
“Want to grab a coffee?” I ask, getting my head back to the present.
“Sounds great.” I hear a male voice in the background, and for a second I think it’s Cason.
“Where are you?” I ask. Maybe she has a male client that sounds like the man I’m in love with.
“Meet me at the market,” she says instead of answering me.
I frown. Why would she want to go there, so far from her work? I don’t ask, instead I agree and end the call.
Since the market is close by, I decide to walk, and I struggle to keep my thoughts on something—anything—but the man I haven’t seen in the last two weeks. But that would be like stopping a freight train with my fist.
Speaking of fist…
I can’t believe Cason punched Evan. Honestly, I can’t believe all the things Cason said to my parents, standing up for me, right after he admitted he had a bet—a stupid bet—with Cole. Why would he do that, why would he stand up for me and say all those things if he was with me simply to win a bet?
Maybe that’s not the real reason he was with you.
Oh, how I truly want to believe that, how I truly wanted to believe we were beyond sex and tacos, too. But if he wanted more, wouldn’t he have wanted to introduce me to his parents? Wouldn’t he have said something? Then again, I never said anything, either. I was too much of a chicken, too damn afraid of messing things up. Is it possible that he was, too? He told me numerous times he messes things up. Was he too afraid of saying anything and ruining what we were building? Should I have stayed in that yard and listened to him? Oh God, I just don’t know what to think anymore.
What I do know, however, is Cason helped me when I needed it, was there for me at every turn, and stood up to my parents. He brought me into his circle of friends, and touched me with loving, tender hands. Would he have done all that if he wasn’t one of the good guys, didn’t care more about me?
“Earth to Kinsley.” I blink as Emily waves her hand in front of my face, pulling me back to the present. I was so lost in thought I hadn’t even realized I’d reached the market, standing on the corner as still as a statue, as people maneuvered around me. “Hey, are you okay?” She narrows her eyes and scans my face.
“No,” I say, my voice low and shaky as panic wells up inside me. “I think I might have made a big mistake.”
She eyes me for a minute. “You mean about Cason?”
I cross my arms and hug myself as the world spins around me. “I think I should have stayed on the lawn and listened to him.”
She gives me a big smile, and it surprises the hell out of me. “Why are you smiling? You hate him. You told me many times how much you hated him for hurting me.”
“Yeah, I know. Come on. Let’s get a coffee and you can tell me all about why you thought you made a mistake.” She puts her arm through