you know how much I love—” That word felt oddly dangerous, of a sudden. But he couldn’t think of another that fitted. “All of you,” he added quickly, waving an arm towards the doorway, Jin and Glaward’s growling coming faint from beyond. “Glaward’s my conscience, and Jin’s my courage, and Antaup’s my charm, and you’re my—”
“Awkwardness?”
“I was going to say brains. I know how many disasters you’ve steered me clear of. Maybe you think I don’t notice, or I’m not grateful but, well… I do, and I am. I’m just… a lot better at taking credit than giving it, I reckon. You’ve always been there.” He winced. “I’m not sure… I can say the same.”
“’Course you can.” Jurand’s eyelashes fluttered as he looked away. As if he was blinking back tears. “Life has leaders and followers, we all know that. I’d follow you into hell, Leo.” And he looked back, and reached up, not that far, and put his hand on Leo’s shoulder.
They’d touched each other a thousand times. They’d wrestled and sparred and hugged. But there was something different about that touch. More than one old friend supporting another. Far more. Jurand’s hand didn’t just rest there. It squeezed, ever so lightly, and Leo felt a strange need to tilt his head and press his cheek against it. Take that hand and hold it to his face, to his heart, to his mouth.
Jurand was looking him right in the eyes, lips slightly parted. “I want to say…”
Leo’s throat felt suddenly very tight. “Yes?”
“I… need… to say—”
“Here you go!” Antaup blundered out through the window, wedged a glass into Leo’s hand, another into Jurand’s, spattering wine on the balcony, making them both take an awkward little step apart. “Our boy’s all grown up!” And he planted a slobbery kiss on Leo’s cheek, and ruffled Jurand’s already ruffled hair, and ducked back inside.
Now the violinist had seen them, prancing over to the bridge just below their balcony, grinning up and hacking out a jauntier, more marshal theme. Beside the winery, two fellows started up a noisy argument. Typical Styrians, all swagger and no action.
“Well,” said Jurand, lifting his glass. “To the married man, eh?” And he slugged back his wine, the knobble on his long, slender throat bobbing. “Time comes we all have to grow up.” He sounded rather bitter about it as he wiped his mouth. “Put our silly dreams aside.”
“Aye.” Leo took a mouthful himself. “Reckon we should get ready. If I make a mess of this, Savine’ll bloody kill me.”
The spell was broken. The strange moment was gone. Leo had to admit he was relieved.
Relieved and crushed, both at once.
Grown Up
“My big brother!” And she held her arms out to Orso. “Come all the way to Sipani just to visit me!”
“Carlot. Bloody hell, it’s good to see you.” And it was. She was a grown woman, of course, with a definite hint of their father about her strong cleft chin, but all he could see was the girl who used to chase him around the palace gardens in happier times. He hugged her tight, and held her head against his shoulder, and had to manfully fight down a sudden urge to cry.
She frowned as she held him out at arm’s length. “You look a little… pale.”
“Rough seas on the way over,” he lied. “Being king suits me.”
She saw right through him, as always. “It never suited father. It ground all the fun out of him.”
“Well, I’m not him.” Though he feared in fact he might be. “It’s brought out the responsible servant of the people in me.”
“Who would have thought you were hiding one of those?” She lowered her voice. “You must tell me what urgent business has dragged the King of the Union across the Circle Sea.”
“I would if I could.”
“Let me help, Orso. I do nothing here but choose wallpaper.”
“And you’ve done a simply marvellous job of it,” he said, glancing admiringly about the room. “You must choose some for me.”
She punched him on the arm. “Come on! I never get any bloody excitement.”
He wanted to tell her how much trouble he was in. To moan that his subjects were united only in contempt for their king. To blurt out that a conspiracy was building against him.
To say how lonely he was.
But it would have been selfishness. What could she do about any of it? He made himself smile. “It’s all very boring. Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Not there with the boxes, over there!” The