they’d also been busy themselves, they must’ve known by the fact that I hadn’t pushed them to hang out that I was up to no good on my own.
“Baby, secret lovers…” Taryn said, “Ben bottoming for the Orman twins.”
“The hell is this about?” I asked.
“See what happens when you don’t keep up with friends?” Ben asked with a knowing smile.
Taryn opened a packet of orange sauce and sprinkled it over her rice. “I’m also noticing you’re not diving into your food, which makes me think you’re gonna save it for later so you can share a meal with someone, making it more than just a hookup. You’re not the first to play that game, mister.”
“What’s with the interrogation?”
“It’s not an interrogation, since we don’t expect any answers. But, Scowl, we’re your friends, and you can imagine all the talk we’ve been having behind your back about how mysterious you’ve been recently.”
“Mysterious? Me?”
They laughed together as Taryn opened another packet of orange sauce.
“Yeah, like why you couldn’t hang last Thursday,” Ben noted before popping a piece of shrimp tempura in his mouth.
“As a matter of fact, I had a therapy appointment that day.”
“Really?” Taryn asked, her eyes wide.
“Just a virtual thing, but yeah. I liked it.”
I thought the shrimp was about to drop from Ben’s mouth as they both looked at me, stunned, like they believed the last thing in the world I would have considered was therapy. Had I never met James, they would have been right. The woman James had found for me was friendly and listened. We hadn’t gotten into details on any of the shit I’d told James, but I was warming up to her. I’d get there, but it wasn’t going to happen in so few sessions.
“Anyway,” I said. “Moving along.”
“To your secret lover?” Taryn asked.
“Secrets, secrets, Kyle Forsythe…” Ben said, grabbing another shrimp, studying my face as though all the answers would be right there.
“You guys…if I could tell you…”
“No, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to pry,” Ben said. “Listen, Scowl. We’ve known you long enough to know that secrets are part of being friends with you.”
“Yes,” Taryn added. “And the only thing we want you to know is that, whenever you are ready to talk to us, about anything, we’re here.”
Ben reached his hand across the table, waving for me to take it. I offered my hand before giving my other to Taryn.
“God, this is gay,” I noted.
“We’ve taken that word back, and that means this is super awesome,” Ben teased.
“Good, since that’s how I meant it.”
We enjoyed the moment, and there was relief in having actually chatted about what they had been sort of dancing around. Even though we couldn’t talk about the secret I had, at least I didn’t feel like I was keeping it from them.
As our mall outing came to an end, I did as Taryn suggested, keeping my General Tso leftovers in my container since I wanted to make dinner with James. When I headed out of the mall, on the way to my car, I called him. Judging by the time, his movie should have been over.
“Hey, sexy,” he answered.
I’d come to accept that all his greetings would make him sound like he was still in high school too.
“How was the movie?”
“Would have been better with you, but it was good. On my way home now. Need me to pick up anything?”
“Did you guys eat?”
“No, saved that for you.”
I had assumed he might not have, but that he’d been thinking along the same lines made an eagerness swell in my chest.
“Good. Then grab some veggies and chicken. I say we make stir-fry. Correction: I’ll show you how to make stir-fry properly because if you get me frozen veggies, I might have to be done with you.”
“Really? Is that all it would take?”
“It would take a lot to make up for that.”
“Could be fun to try and make up for it, then.”
I was grinning like a fucking idiot, and I loved it.
“Listen, Big Man. I’ll text you a list, and then I’ll see you at the house, okay?”
“See you soon, Kyle.”
I hung up, and as I tucked my cell back in my pocket, I thought, here we fucking go…
37
James
I’d never expected falling to feel so much like flying.
Years with my wife had dragged on while days with Kyle Forsythe soared by. As quickly as time passed, I felt more on top of my workload than ever before. My energy—my soul—had returned. I was fucking alive in a way I’d never