bookstore. I’ll be adding it to the board for extra credit. I was thinking I might be able to get it to you then. Figured it would be better than our usual spots.”
He smiled. “I’d like that.”
I allowed myself to fantasize it was a sort of date for us, still wondering how we’d gone from the connection we’d initially discovered to…whatever we were now.
25
Kyle
I changed into my third shirt for the night, a blue polo that fit my arms and chest pretty good. I wouldn’t be pretending I didn’t want James checking me out in it. Imagining his eyes on me, drinking me in, was enough to make my cheeks flush.
I studied myself in the mirror, obsessing over my look nearly as much as Ben had obsessed about it before the homecoming dance. This must’ve been what it felt like to go on a date.
Virgin dater.
I laughed at the thought, but then quickly reminded myself it wasn’t a date. It couldn’t be a date between James and me, even if that’s what we both wanted. But even as I tried to push that thought out of my mind, it didn’t change this secret hope. I forced myself to accept the reality of our situation as excitement was replaced with disappointment, and urged myself to finish my quest for the “perfect shirt.” Once I found something that satisfied my ego, I fixed my hair in a hurry, still wet from the shower I’d taken after running deliveries, before heading downtown to the bookstore.
James was already seated upstairs in the café, near a window. What remained of the setting sun cast a soft orange glow across the crown of his head, making his hair glisten in a range of orange hues. He was reading a handful of papers, making marks across what I assumed were assignments from the day before. His gaze shifted and found me, and his lips curled into that familiar smile.
Considering our week had begun with me totally losing my shit, it was a refreshing reminder that the bond that had formed between us wasn’t that easily destroyed.
I wasn’t proud I’d snapped. I could feel Brian’s words grating on my ears before they’d even escaped his stupid goddamn mouth. I didn’t know what they’d be, but I knew his voice and all the snarky expressions he could make from having been through enough grades with him to already have a predisposed hatred toward his arrogant ass. I’d grabbed the edges of my desk, hoping I’d be able to restrain myself, but as soon as he spoke the insult, it was like an out-of-body experience, and I was on my feet, rushing across the classroom. By the expression on Brian’s face, the terror in his eyes, it was how I imagined he might’ve looked if I’d transformed into a werewolf before his very eyes.
When James got in between us and I calmed down, that’s when it really hit me what happened. I didn’t like that side of me—who it made me feel like. It frustrated me that even just seeing James brought up such a bad memory, spoiled the moment, but at least James had a better idea of where all that intense hatred came from.
As I neared him, he pushed to his feet and offered a familiar warm hug. When I pulled away, I removed my jacket and draped it over the back of the chair across from his.
“Did I get an A yet?” I teased him.
“I’m working on third period’s assignments.”
“You mean you don’t pull mine out first to see what an insightful analysis I had of Shelley’s blah, blah, blah about trees and shit?”
“I wouldn’t admit it if I did.” By the clever little smile on his face and the gleam in his eyes, I knew I was right.
He glanced me over. “I like that shirt. I don’t think I’ve seen you wear it to school.”
“Oh, thanks. Yeah, not usually my kind of thing, but when we were out, Ben insisted. Said it made me look really studious.”
“It’s sharp, for sure. I enjoy it when you change things up.”
I happened to look around and noticed Brittany and Valerie from fourth period heading our way.
Fuck my life.
As I looked to James, who had them in his sights too, it was evident we were both disappointed that what we’d hoped would be another private moment had been spoiled. Perhaps we needed a reality check, though.
“Hey, Mr. Warner,” Valerie said as she neared. “I’m surprised to see you here, Kyle.”