by excuses and disorienting arguments and crocodile tears. For the first time in my life, I could reflect back on my time with Sheila with clarity.
When I returned home, Kyle popped in the kitchen entryway, a dish rag and small plate in hand, like he’d been so eager to see me and find out how it went that he’d forgotten what he was in the middle of.
I hurried to him, and he didn’t deny me the kiss I needed after what I’d just been through.
All my strength returned as he gave me the only encouragement I needed. I pushed him back to the counter. In my carelessness, he dropped the plate, but I took his body in my arms, holding him right there as it shattered on the floor.
Fuck the plate. Fuck Sheila. Fuck the world. Fuck everything that had made me feel so goddamn terrible about who I was and what I wanted.
I let myself simply enjoy the moment with Kyle.
We were right.
“Jesus Christ,” he said when I finally pulled away. “I was expecting you to come home in a mood, or worried.”
“Nope. This is the first time in a long time that I’ve really felt free.”
“So…she’s not going to the police?”
“Doubtful.”
He eyed me suspiciously. “What did my sneaky teach do to make that happen?”
I snickered. “Considering some of the other schemes she’s been up to, I’d prefer to check the house for mics before getting into it.”
“But it’s something wicked,” he said, his eyes narrowing.
“Very wicked. Looking to fuck you with this evil dick of mine tonight.”
He rolled his head back, letting out that familiar, carefree laugh that made me feel like everything was really going to be all right. “Your evil dick. Ooh, I’m not sure I can handle all that.”
“As long as you’re willing to try, we should be fine.”
“I think I can do more than try.”
We kissed again before he said, “But to be clear, how sure are you we don’t have to worry about Sheila?”
“Maybe ninety-eight percent sure, but pretty damn sure. Let’s just say we were married long enough for both of us to know some shit about each other, and I know what she’s not willing to risk.”
If I was wrong, then maybe she would take it to the police. And if she did, I wouldn’t have anything on her. It was all a bluff. I’d deleted those videos off my laptop, couldn’t stand to look at them. If she was a moral and decent person, she would do what she claimed was the right thing and turn me in, regardless of what it meant for her own career. But the Sheila I had come to know wasn’t any of those things, and I was certain she would imagine I was as cruel and vindictive and manipulative as she was…and be too scared to chance it.
“So what are we having for dinner tonight?” I asked, tugging him close.
“I was gonna try to persuade you to grab some Taco Bell with me on the way to see Tex.”
I shook my head. “Nope. That’s not gonna work for my evil dick tonight.”
“I can probably compromise with KFC.”
We shared another laugh before I rubbed my nose against his.
“You are so giddy,” he said. “This is the James I prefer.”
“I know it’s been a rough week, but things are gonna change for you and me.”
“Yeah, I think they are.”
“No more being afraid,” I whispered to him, and his face turned serious. “No regrets. No fear. Just you and me. You got that?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I got it, Teach.”
I took another kiss as a reward for my renewed sense of freedom.
I could feel it in my soul that this moment, right there in the kitchen with Kyle, was the beginning of my life.
EPILOGUE
KYLE
I folded another shirt before setting it on a stack I’d made on the bed, beside my open suitcase.
It was strange to think that soon this bed would be my old bed, joining so many old beds from my past. There were those from my childhood, back in the home I’d survived. Then there was the one Tex had for me when I visited him occasionally, and the one he’d purchased after he took me in during my teens, once I finally had enough and escaped the only family I’d ever believed I could have. The sets of sheets had changed over the years, but even these were reminiscent of the ones I’d cried into with the vain hope that by some miracle, Mom would