I wasn’t sure he could smile much bigger than that, and then he did, and it warmed my heart as he leaned into me and took another kiss. My lips were at his disposal for as long as he needed them to chase away the pain.
“You know what I think we need?” I said. “Some fajitas.”
He sniffled again. “Fajitas would be nice.”
“Well, you sit here and binge-watch Buffy while I do the heavy lifting, okay? No worries about school. You’re not going tomorrow. Got it?”
“Yes, sir.”
I turned on the TV and again noticed him struggling against his smile. I could tell by the appreciative expression on his face that I was doing the right things, the things he needed in that moment.
But really I knew, more than anything, he needed someone to be there when all the people who were supposed to be there for him were either hurt or had already abandoned him.
He kissed me, not a playful or quick kiss, but deep and meaningful. We pulled close to one another, and I felt the tears escaping his eyes once again.
I’m here. I’m here for you, I thought, hoping to convey it with every nip, every swipe of my tongue in his mouth.
When we finally pulled away from the kiss, we hugged.
Tex would be back home soon, and Kyle and I would be back to normal…with just a couple of weeks to graduation. We wouldn’t be able to leave for the summer as we’d planned, but that wasn’t changing what we would do after graduation.
People could say what they wanted, assume what they wanted, but I would never be ashamed of the man I loved or what I’d done. No one could ever convince me what we felt was wrong.
We held each other for a few more minutes before I headed into the kitchen to defrost some meat. I checked in on Kyle occasionally. He watched the show, his head resting on a pillow against the arm of my sofa.
Then, on one of my trips to the fridge for veggies, the sound of the doorbell filled my place. I froze as our gazes met.
I checked the time: 11:22 p.m. Who the fuck could have been at my door so late? And why? The first thought I had was that someone had seen us when we came in, but it seemed so far-fetched.
I went to the door and checked through the side window, my mouth falling open as I saw who it was.
“Sheila,” I said as I opened the door. “What are you doing here?” My words dragged out as I stared at her, stunned that she would be at my place at all, let alone so late.
“Do you mind if I come in?”
“It’s not really a good time for me.”
“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
I glanced around. This was a horrible idea. And the worst time for her to make a surprise visit, but I could tell by her expression she was deadly serious about something. “Give me a second.”
I closed the door and headed back to the living room. Kyle was already up and off the couch.
“What is she doing here?” he whispered.
“I don’t know. She wants to come in. It seems important.”
“Just—”
“Smells like you’re cooking. Making dinner so late?” Her voice echoed through my home.
Fuck my life. I should have locked the door.
Kyle jumped to the love seat against the dividing wall between the living room and kitchen so she wouldn’t be able to spot him.
I heard her coming down the entry hall and bolted out of the living room, back into the kitchen. That guilt and shame I’d believed I’d shaken when Kyle and I arrived at the house that evening seemed to flee my awareness as I felt us coming close to being caught in the act by one of the worst possible people.
She stepped into the kitchen, her heels clicking against the tiled floor. I hadn’t noticed at the door, but she was dressier than usual, as though she’d just come from somewhere. In Jimmy Choos and a Gucci jacket, she set her Prada bag on the kitchen table.
“I said I’d be a minute,” I told her through my teeth. “You could have waited outside.”
“I’ve been waiting for you for a while.”
It was a strange remark. That wasn’t really possible since I hadn’t seen her SUV outside, but I thought maybe she was referring to the message she’d left earlier in the week.