Turning, I saw James at the foot of the bed, watching us. He didn’t look worried that Tex had discovered our secret, surely because he knew enough about him from me to know he would keep us safe.
For the first time in days, I finally breathed a sigh of relief.
43
James
After everything he’d been through, the last thing he should have been thinking about was having to sneak through the woods on a rainy night. I turned to my Kyle, his head tucked against my shoulder, seemingly getting his first bit of rest since Tex had wound up in the hospital.
That our situation had made the past week so fucking complicated only pissed me off that much more.
We didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve that.
I hated the fucking world we lived in.
It wasn’t right or fair. I was his, and he was mine. Nothing else should have mattered or weighed on my conscience. Perhaps that was why I’d so recklessly defied our rules as I parked in my driveway.
“Hey, sexy,” I said, and he stirred, searching around, surely thinking, just as I was, that someone was watching us that very moment, ready to catch us in our crime.
“James…”
“No. Not tonight. Not after everything you’ve been through.”
I took his hand, and he gripped gently. I could feel his appreciation.
It was unlikely we’d get caught, but it was riskier than anything we’d allowed ourselves to do before, a reminder of all those nightmares that could become my reality. However, to have him walk into my home the way he should have been able to was worth it.
“No one’s going to notice,” I told him. “And even if they did, I’m tired of being afraid.”
“Me too.”
We got out of the car and went inside.
No fuss. No rush. But still, with that fear I didn’t imagine would flee right away once what we did was fine in the eyes of the law. I figured, hell, if any of my neighbors did make a big deal out of it, there were plenty of excuses we could make, considering all that happened this past week. But as much as I kept telling myself we’d be fine, it didn’t erase that sting in my gut, like my sloppiness would spoil everything.
As soon as I closed the front door behind us, my arm was around his waist as I guided him into the living room. We sat together on the sofa, holding one another the way I’d wanted to hold him at the hospital so many fucking times.
He trembled against me. I could tell by the sniffling and heavy breathing that he was crying. After everything that happened, he deserved a good cry.
“James,” he said, his voice as weak as I’d ever heard it.
“Hey, beautiful.” I pulled back and looked at his tear-streaked face—not the face of a guy nicknamed Scowl at all. “Talk to me.”
“It’s all hitting me at once, I guess. Mom and Dad not giving a shit, but preaching about love and acceptance to their congregation. And seeing Tex in that state, so pale, and thinking I could lose one of the most important men in my life.” His forehead creased as tears pushed from the corners of his eyes and trailed down his face.
I couldn’t help but notice and appreciate how effortlessly he’d said the men in his life…knowing I was included in that. And what an honor it was to be a man in Kyle Forsythe’s life.
“You need to eat.” Despite everyone else getting second helpings of some Olive Garden before we left, I’d noticed Kyle just fork at his to pretend he was joining us. “Mini-Oreos and Chips Ahoy! don’t count as a meal.”
“I knew I should have eaten some Cup O Noodles to set you at ease.” His joke made me laugh as a smile crept across his face.
It was the moment of release we both needed. I put my hand on his cheek and wiped away a tear.
“Sorry. I’ll stop now,” he said.
“You don’t need to stop. I like wiping them away for you.”
As another tear fell, I leaned forward and kissed it.
“You might be busy tonight, then.”
“Worse ways to spend a night,” I told him, kissing under his other eye.
“That wasn’t even a tear.”
“Better safe than sorry.”
He seemed to stifle a grin.
“Why are you fighting that beautiful smile?” I asked. “I think I deserve it with how adorable I’m being.”
He let loose and allowed it to expand across his face. “I hate it when you get to me