fucking aware of that. You wanna know why, Savvy? Because no other girl would have me traipsing off to New York to get my very angry dick pierced, so that it and I had an understanding that we had months of healing before any playtime was gonna happen.”
“Wh-wh-what!” My mouth is unhinged, jaw on my lap. I have no idea what the hell that all means. I mean, I know what the piercing is.
“Wanted it done anyway,” he says as he texts someone. “Because yeah, I’m a teenager, who actually enjoyed a whole lot of sex. And BTW, so has everyone I’ve been with. Not one has questioned whether they liked dick after me.”
“You’re drunk, so shut up, Patrick.”
“Told you before, I’m a fucking catch. Four months, Savvy. Four months, and I was willing to wait four more, but this is some bullshit. You question my integrity when I walked out on that shit tonight. You get pissed because of Devina. I’d hand you my phone and tell you to tell her to back off your man, because she’s definitely coming at me hard. And hell, if you were actually my girl and not more like some twisted obsession that has me questioning what the fuck is wrong with me for waiting for this … this … fucking snowflake in July, rocking my confidence, you’d know damn well that you had nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah, well, this isn’t easy for me, you know.”
“And that fucks with me harder than the shit I just mentioned. You’re not the same girl with confidence by the ass loads, not when it comes to me, anyway. I see that fire; I’ll be damned if I’m the one to piss all over it. That, Savvy Sutton, is me respecting you. You’re welcome.
“So I’m calling it now, because, Savvy, this shit is getting out of hand, and I know even at this point, I can handle friends. I just hope that you can, too.”
I look in the mirror and see lights behind us.
Patrick looks back then at me. “You think you can get this back to the dorm for me?”
“Yeah,” is all I can say.
“See you around, Savvy.”
Chapter 19
"It took me quite a long time to develop a voice,
and now that I have it,
I am not going to be silent."
~ Madeleine Albright
Savvy
The first week after what felt like a breakup, the only thing that changed was he stopped coming to The Bean when I worked. At school, my morning still started with him and JT talking across me, about the shit happening with the Seashore app and Tobias and the others luring JT into an underground fight. My days, he still sits beside me in the classes that he had been sitting by me previously. However, there was just no knee nudges, and I didn’t catch him staring at me. He was even still coming in once in a while to help with the plates.
The second week was the same, it was also the week of the fight. The entire school was buzzing about it. I was reading more to escape it.
After work, I come back to the dorm, and Chloe is watching an old movie, Grease. She watches it on repeat, and by the time I have to go to work again, I realize what she was doing.
“Seriously, Chloe?”
“Sandy had to become a badass; you’ve always been one. You need to fix this shit.”
“I’m busy.”
“You have no idea what busy is until you decide to take on two men.”
“Okay, I’ve been tolerating this, been quiet and accepting, but I really think maybe you should choose.”
“They love me.” She shrugs, a look of contentment replacing the cornered kitten look she normally wears. “They both said so. And you know what didn’t happen after they both said it on separate occasions?”
What drunk Patrick said about her comes front and center in my mind. “No, but if it’s going to be graphic details or make me look at any of you differently, please save it.”
She smiles. “I didn’t run, Savvy. I didn’t wonder how they could when no one else has, and I didn’t look for another hookup immediately, in fear that, at some point soon, they’d realize I’m not good enough.”
“And that’s your norm?” I ask because, seriously, I don’t normally want details, but what she just said is kind of a big realization for her.
“I know you think that men are the only ones who are driven by sex, but some of us see it as