that house you're so determined to turn into a shrine."
"That's not what I'm doing. Who was she involved with, Mom? A secret affair, a married man. An affair that went south."
"She had affairs. Why wouldn't she? She was beautiful and vital, and she needed love."
"A specific affair, during this specific period."
"I don't know." Dilly's voice clipped on the words now. "I try not to think about that time. It was hell for me. Why do you care? Why dredge that kind of thing up again? I hate the theories and the speculations."
Tread carefully, Cilla reminded herself. "I'm just curious. You hear talk, and she did spend a lot of time here in that last year, year and a half. She wasn't really involved with anyone back in L.A., that I've heard about. It wasn't like her to be without a man, a lover, for very long."
"Men couldn't resist her. Why should she resist them? Then they'd let her down. They always do. They make promises they don't keep. They cheat, they steal, and God knows they can't stand for the woman to be more successful."
"So how are things with you and Num-with Mario?"
"He's the exception to the rule. I've finally found the kind of man I need. Mama never did. She never found a man worthy of her."
"And never stopped looking," Cilla prompted. "She would have wanted the comfort, the love and support, especially after Johnnie died. Maybe she looked here, in Virginia."
"I don't know. She never took me with her back to the farm after Johnnie. She said she had to be alone. I didn't want to go back anyway. It was too painful. That's why I haven't been back in all these years. It's still a fresh wound in my heart."
And we come full circle, Cilla thought. "Like I said, I'm just curious. So if something or someone occurs to you, let me know. I'd better let you get to rehearsal."
"Oh, let them wait! Mario had the best idea. It's phenomenal, and such a good opportunity for you. We'll work a duet for you and me into the show, in the second act. A medley of Mama's songs with clips and stills from her movies on screen behind us. We'll finish with 'I'll Get By,' making it a trio, putting her onstage with us, the way they did with Elvis and Celine Dion. He's talking to HBO, Cilla, about broadcasting."
"Mom-"
"We'll need you back here next week for rehearsals, and costume design, choreography. We're still working out the composition, but the number would run about four minutes. Four spectacular minutes, Cilla. We want to give you a real chance for a comeback."
Cilla closed her eyes, debated sawing off her tongue, letting it fly- and settled on somewhere in the middle. "I appreciate that, I really do. But I don't want to come back, geographically or professionally. I don't want to perform. I want to build."
"You'd be building." Enthusiasm bubbled across the continent. "Your career, and helping me. The three Hardy women, Cilla. It's landmark."
My name's McGowan, Cilla thought. "I think you'd be better spotlighted alone. And the duet with Janet? That could be lovely, heart-wrenching. "
"It's four minutes, Cilla. You can spare me four fucking minutes a night for a few weeks. And it will turn your life around. Mario says-"
"I've just finished turning my life around, and I like where it's standing. I've got to go. I've got work."
"Don't you-"
Cilla closed the phone, deliberately shoved it back into her pocket. She heard the throat clear behind her and, turning, saw Matt in the doorway. "They just got the grouting done on the tile in the bathroom upstairs. Thought you'd want to take a look."
"Yeah. We'll be installing the fixtures tomorrow then."
"That'd be right."
"Let me get my sledgehammer. We can start taking down that wall up there. I'm in the mood for demo."
THERE WAS LITTLE, Cilla decided, more satisfying than beating the hell out of something. It relieved frustration, brought a quick and wild rise of glee, and fulfilled all manner of dark fantasies. The fact was, it was-on several levels-every bit as therapeutic as good sex.
And since she wasn't having any sex-good or otherwise-at the moment, knocking down walls did the job. She could be having sex, she thought as she strode out of the house trailing plaster dust. Ford and his magic mouth had made that fairly clear.
But she was on a kind of moratorium there-as part of the turn-the-life-around program, she supposed. New world, new life,