tending my horses and shoeing them for the Journey, instructing the scullers to preparing packs for my journey; getting the scholars to make me a map. When the work was in motion, I left the castle proper and walked through the covered corridors to the Genetics Laboratories.
The news had spread quickly-- all the high-ranking officers avoided me, and only the students were there to open doors and lead me to the place I wanted to see.
The Pens were kept brightly lit day and night, and I looked through the high observation window at the bodies endlessly scattered across the soft lawns. Here and there dust rose from the wallows. All the flesh was nude, and I watched as the noon food was spread into the feeders. Some of them looked like any other men. Others had small growths here and there on their bodies, or defects barely noticeable from a distance-- three breasts, or two noses, or extra toes and fingers.
And then there were those that were ready for harvest. I watched one creature is it lumbered toward the troughs. Its five legs didn't move well together, and it flailed its four arms awkwardly, to keep a balance. An extra head dangled uselessly from its back; a second spine curved away from the body like a sucking snake clinging rigidly to its victim.
"Why have they let this one go so long unharvested?" I asked the student who was near me.
"Because of the head," he said. "Complete heads are very rare, and we didn't dare interfere with the regeneration until it was complete."
"Do we get a good price for heads?" I asked.
"I'm not in merchandising," he answered, which meant that the price was very high indeed.
I looked at the monster as it struggled to bring food to its mouth with unresponsive arms. Could it be Velinisik? I shuddered.
"Are you cold?" asked the student, over-solicitously.
"Very," I answered. "My curiosity is satisfied. I'll go now."
I wondered why I wasn't even slightly grateful that my exile at least saved me from the pens. Perhaps because I knew that if I were sentenced to live there, supplying extra parts for the offworld, I would kill myself. As it was I was still this side of suicide, and so had no retreat from the terrible knowledge of my loss.
Saranna met me in the greeting room of the Genetics Laboratories. I couldn't avoid her.
"I thought I would find you here," she said, "being morbid."
I knew she was trying to cheer me up, trying to pretend that all was still well between us. Under the circumstances, such a pretence was grotesque. Rather I wanted her to grieve for me, to speak to me as if I were only a memory, of one who was dead, for that's what I felt then that I was.
I tried to walk past her. She caught my arm, clung to me and wouldn't let me pull away.
"Do you think it makes any difference to me?" she cried out.
"You're being indecorous," I hissed. Several people were looking at the floor in embarrassment, and the servants were already kneeling. "You're causing us shame."
"Come with me then," she said. To avoid causing any more awkwardness for the others in the room I went with her. As we left I could hear the rods being whipped across the servants' backs because they had seen the highborn acting in a low manner. I felt the blows as if they fell on me.
"How could you do that?" I asked her.
"And how could you stay away from me for all these days?"
"Not that long."
"Longer! Lanik, do you think I didn't know? Do you think my love for you was just because you were the Mueller's heir?"
"What do you plan to do?" I demanded. "Go in there with me? Let yourself be harvested, too?"
She pushed herself away from me, horror in her eyes.
"Next time be luckier," I said. "Next time love a human being."
"Lanik!" she cried, and then put her arms around me and pressed her head to my chest. When she leaned against soft breasts instead of hard muscle, she pulled her head away for a moment-- then resolutely held to me even tighter.
With her head on my bosom I found myself wondering if I should feel motherly. Didn't she realize that her touch was no comfort to me now, only a reminder of all that I had lost? I pushed her away and ran. I stopped at a turn in the corridor and looked back. She was already slitting