“It’s almost as if you’re begging me to hate you so things can go back to the way they were.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” But his hold weakened.
She seized the opportunity, bucking him off her back and spinning over. He loomed above, his sweat-slicked chest heaving, his gaze heavy with uncertainty, the strap dangling useless in one fist.
“You want me to hate you. You want me to leave you here.” She stared up at him. “All this time, you wouldn’t consider even the possibility of a way to convince Command Council to commute your sentence and get you off this hellhole and I thought…I thought maybe it was because you weren’t sure about me. Weren’t sure you trusted me to stand up for you as you’ve done for me. But now I see that was all wrong. The problem isn’t me. And it isn’t Dragath25. It’s you. You’re afraid. Afraid to care too deeply or hope too intensely for better than this miserable existence.” She fumbled with her clothes. “I don’t know what happened with your wife, but I’d rather die a thousand times over than spend whatever time I have left with someone who’s too afraid to take a chance and really live.”
He closed his eyes, his whole body folding in on itself as he sat back on his heels.
She was too angry to care.
She kicked out, hitting him square in the chest. He toppled over the side of the bed.
Seizing the advantage as he’d taught her, she leapt off the bed and stood over him. She knew he wouldn’t come after her again. That he’d never really physically hurt her. It wasn’t in his nature. But pushing her away—well, that apparently was in his blood.
“The Council might have marooned you on Dragath25, but you’re the one making the sentence lonely and miserable. Look at this place.” She flung her hands outward. “It’s like a jail cell. And the only time you let yourself feel good is during sex. You’re punishing yourself for no good reason.”
He snarled up at her. “You’ve been on this damn planet for less than two weeks. You think you have the right to judge? Dragath25 is one of the most dangerous places in the universe. You have to stay on guard all the time or you’ll be dead.”
“What an excellent justification. But staying on guard against outside elements isn’t the same as guarding yourself against any kind of joy or happiness. Against another person.”
He bristled, jumping to his feet, forcing her to stumble back. “I’m not sure what you’re complaining about. Our deal was protection for pleasure. I’m fulfilling that and then some.”
“You’re right.” A wave of pain swept through her. “You promised me nothing else. And you’ve given me all you agreed to and more.” She took a step back. And then another. “I’ll always be grateful for how you saved me and my colleagues. I’ll always be grateful for your patience and your kindness when you could have used force and taken without giving anything in return. But I won’t stay with you if fear is all you can offer.”
His hands fisted by his side. “You’re making a mistake. It’s too dangerous for you out there without me.”
“Maybe so, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. We could have forged something great here on Dragath25, but you won’t let that happen.” Her hand closed over the door latch. She looked back, taking one last look at the room where she’d been surprisingly happy these last few days. “Looks like I lied about the anything part, huh?”
His haunted gaze met hers.
“Good-bye, Caine. Be safe. I truly wish you only the best. You may not believe it but, Dragath25 criminal or not, you deserve it.”
Chapter Eighteen
“I like you bent over like that, Cadet West. Gives a man ideas.”
Ignoring Pogue’s crude comments, Bella slid her hands a little farther under the heavy boulder and heaved. No luck. It didn’t budge. After almost a week, her sprained ankle was pretty much healed, but that didn’t mean she could lift such a huge rock by herself.
She swallowed her pride. “Any chance you can grab the other side of this rock? I need to stack it with the others.”
“No way.” Pogue’s gaze lifted to the sky. “I’m not doing a damn thing to discourage the rescue team’s arrival.”
“Even if it means their deaths?” She’d told him a hundred times about Caine’s explanation for what had happened to their ship and what might happen to the