he replayed their argument in her SUV enough times. But what had also grown in the interim was curiosity. Regret, even. What had she lived through that she hadn’t shared? He wanted to know, but also didn’t think it was right that she’d kept him in the dark.
But one thing became clearer as time went on: Maxwell wanted to go there with her. They’d proven how well they worked as a team. He couldn’t imagine picking up the parental role with anyone else, certainly none of the women who dotted his sexual history. It had all the makings for constant fights and nitpicking and division. But they’d become a team instead, and still were, even though the romantic aspect had faded away.
The Tuesday before the last playoff game, which would decide their Super Bowl participation, Maxwell found himself thinking about Jill more than usual. Each day off was fertile breeding ground for unchecked thoughts and fantasies. Jill still showed up in his fantasies on the regular, and it often forced him to take matters into his own hand in the shower whenever the thoughts got too sexy.
Part of him wanted to take the kids to her work and surprise her with flowers and a snack. But he still hadn’t figured out the right path forward when it came to blurring those lines again. Would they just find themselves back in the same predicament? He wanted to actually fix things, not just cover them up with a prettier version of the original Band-Aid.
So instead, he and the triplets spent the day in the backyard, alternating between playing in the cabin and tossing around the nerf football. The kids ran around like crazy whenever the football came out, which made his heart swell. He might get at least one professional football player out of the three of them. Cameron and Kevin fought to catch the ball whenever he tossed it their way while Shelley rolled around on the grass, shrieking with laughter.
“Come on, Kev! I know you can do it!” Maxwell tossed the football his way and the ball went past his arms yet again.
“It’s okay, buddy,” Maxwell said, jogging toward them. But Kevin darted for the ball and hugged it to his chest.
“Touchdown!” Kevin shouted. Clear as day.
Maxwell froze, staring at Kevin in disbelief. “What did you say?”
“Touchdown!” Kevin shouted again, jumping up and down with his hands in the air. Cameron and Shelley joined their brother, the three of them jumping joyously across the backyard.
“Holy—” Maxwell fumbled to get his cell phone out. This was incredible. Kevin had finally mastered the word. Jill needed to see this. No, she needed to be here. She needed to be a part of them again—during the nights and in the mornings. He swallowed a knot of emotion as he pressed record.
“Say it again, Kev,” he encouraged. “Come on. Auntie Jill wants to hear you say it.”
Kevin shrieked and threw himself onto the ground. Cameron piled on top a moment later.
“Come on, Kev!” he said.
But the kids had moved on. They were engrossed in a steam roller battle. Maxwell accepted this with a sigh and stopped recording. He opened his text messages, fingers hovering over the thread with Jill. It had been all business for the past few weeks. Her texting to let him know about schedule disruptions and what he needed to add to the grocery list. None of the warmth and flirtiness that had filled their text messages previously.
“Guess what?” he typed out. “Kevin finally said TOUCHDOWN.”
Jill’s response was quick. “OMG. That’s amazing. Did you get any evidence of it?”
“I tried. But he wouldn’t repeat it.” Once he fired off the message, he debated whether to add anything else. God knew he wanted to. Instead, he sent along the snippet of video he’d captured, encouraging Kevin to repeat himself. It felt like a compromise. Sending more than he’d normally allow himself, yet not sending what he actually wanted: Will you get over here after work tonight, please? I fucking need to see you. Adults only.
But he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out from sending that message.
Because the more time that went by, the louder the truth rang inside him.
He needed Jill in the kid’s lives. But he needed her in his life more, for reasons that had nothing to do with schedules and organization.
He needed her smile. Her warmth. Her heart.
Nothing felt right without her.
That Sunday, Jill was at Maxwell’s house. Her anxiety had been through the roof recently.