Lizzan’s face before moving to Aerax. “Though perhaps I believe in kindness a little more than I did while chained to a bed. I owe you all a great debt.”
“Kindness needs no repayment, but if you feel a debt, perhaps pay it by telling us all you can of Goranik and of the Destroyer,” said Lizzan softly. “Though it need not be today. That discussion can wait until we are not all so very tired. And even if you do not join the alliance, you are welcome to join us when we marry. There will be a small feast if Caeb will hunt for us something worth roasting.”
She addressed the last part to the cat. In answer, Caeb rubbed his cheek to hers.
The man smiled faintly. “If there is food, then I will not miss it.”
* * *
* * *
Back in the washing room, Lizzan’s heavy sigh made Aerax pause while removing his underlinen. He glanced over his shoulder at her, where she reclined in the bath with her lake-blue eyes upon him.
“What troubles you?”
“That I do not know which is my favorite view.” Biting her lip, she swept her gaze from his head to his toes. “The finest of all asses, or the thickest of all cocks. When we are married, I might ask you to spend every night spinning round and round.”
Why wait until marriage? She laughed when he spun for her now, and Aerax thought she liked the front view full well when he approached the tub. Her heated gaze remained fixed upon the heavy hang of his shaft, which thickened all the more the nearer he came to her.
“Sit before me,” she told him, “and I will wash your shoulders and hair.”
Heart full, he sank into the bath and into the cradle of her thighs, leaning back against her. Her knees were bent at his sides. Her arms came around his torso as he braced his feet at the edge of the tin tub, and she pressed her cheek to his.
“Now tell me what it is that troubles you,” she said quietly, her hands slowly soaping his chest. “Is it the ashfall?”
His throat tightened and he shook his head. “It changes nothing. Whether winter comes early or never does, I will not let you die.”
“And I will try very hard to stay alive. So it is not that, then. Is it this sensitivity to magics that you have? For you scowl so fiercely whenever it occurs . . .” Her wet fingers came up to trace the scowl he wore now and a thread of laughter came to her voice. “Or whenever it is mentioned. Why does it bother you so? Usually you would either take full interest or have no care at all. So why does it trouble you?”
He caught her hand, the hollow of his chest aching. “I never wish to be as Varrin was.”
“Why? Would it be so terrible?”
For a long moment Aerax could not answer. Yet he’d not answered her before, when the red fever had come through Koth and he’d taken his place in the palace. There, she’d also asked what had troubled him . . . and unable to tell her, unwilling to tell her, he’d pushed her away.
Never could he again. Voice thick, he asked her, “What do you hope our marriage to be?”
“Little different than what we have now,” she said quietly. “Never could we be only friends, Aerax, yet the finest of friends we are still—though we would have that without marriage. There will be time spent in the bed, but we would also have that without marriage. There will be helping each other, as you helped me when all seemed so lost. But we would have that without marriage, too. And always I will love you, with or without marriage. So if there is any difference, it is only that we are no longer Aerax and Lizzan, two people who have come together. Instead we are Aerax and Lizzan, two people who are together, a joining and a sharing in full.” A smile came to her voice. “Though I think we have that without marriage, too.”
A sharing in full. “I think you have given that to me. But I have not given that to you.”
“Do you speak of your purpose?”
“I should tell you what it is before we marry,” he said hoarsely. “But I fear you might not wish to marry me if I do.”
“Never fear that.”
“Even though I might be Koth’s destroyer?” Gritting his teeth,