“We’ll come up with something, okay?” he said, reaching for the doorknob. “Well, I’m gonna…” His fingers drummed a nervous rhythm against the trim. “Eden, about us.”
Her stomach twisted as the ball of stress in her gut coiled tighter. She ran a hand through her hair, unsure what to say. Adam was the only person she could really talk to, who seemed to get things, get her. But she owed him the truth. “I don’t know if I can handle an ‘us’ right now,” she said quietly.
Turning the knob, Adam was halfway out before he spoke. “Just…think about it, okay?”
She nodded, though he was already closing the door. She stared at the picture, hating how much she still missed Az. Missed his touch.
“I hate you,” she whispered.
Maybe I should try to call Gabe, she thought. Ask for help. She could call Kristen, get his number. But talking to Az or Gabe would mean forgiving them, letting it all go. What would I even say to them? She picked up the phone, running her thumb down the screen. I miss you. I’m scared. The display lit up as she scrolled slowly through the few numbers in her contacts list. How could you let me become this? She stopped on Kristen’s name, but didn’t hit the Send button.
No. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the tremor in her fingers. I don’t need them, she thought. What would he be able to do to help anyway?
She set the phone back down on the nightstand.
CHAPTER 27
Eden pressed her ear against her bedroom door, listening. She heard the shake of cereal, a spoon hitting the side of a bowl, which meant Adam was in the kitchen. She heard footsteps as he moved to the living room. The springs on the couch. James was probably in his room, wouldn’t stop her anyway. But where was Jarrod?
Just go, she thought. Maybe he’s still asleep. She cringed as her door creaked open, her coat tucked under her arm, tiptoeing behind the couch. Adam didn’t notice her.
She almost made it to the door.
“Where are you going?” Jarrod asked, keeping his tone genial as he rounded the corner from the kitchen. He slid between her and the exit to the apartment and tossed a casual hand against the wood, ready to hold the door shut if Eden tried to open it.
“It’s eleven o’clock. You know where I’m going,” Eden said, slipping into her coat. “Move.” She stared him down. He wavered, but only for a moment.
“No,” Jarrod said. Adam looked up from the couch, the page of his magazine mid-turn.
“Move your hand, Jarrod.” She stepped closer, jaw set. James opened the door to the boys’ room, drawn out by the tone of their voices.
“No,” Jarrod said again.
“Get the fuck out of my way!” Eden yelled.
Adam slid between them, taking Eden’s hand as he turned to face Jarrod.
“I’m going with her,” he said quickly, cutting Eden off before she had a chance to defend herself. “No more than two. She promised me we’ll try to come up with something different. We’ll all sit down and talk about it when we get back, okay? James, come on,” he added. He shot a glare toward Jarrod. “I think Jarrod needs some time by himself to calm down.”
Eden slammed out the door. Stomping down the stairs, she covered two flights before Adam and James caught up.
“You’re welcome,” Adam said.
Eden whirled to face him. “And what exactly should I be thanking you for again?”
James edged around them. “I’m gonna wait outside.”
“I got you out of the apartment, didn’t I?” Adam yelled as the door closed behind James. His voice bounced through the stairwell.
“I don’t need your help, and I really don’t need you putting words in my mouth. Jarrod doesn’t get to tell me what to do.”
His face fell. “Eden, come on. What’s the big deal? Take a couple days off.” He reached for her hand.
“I said I’d think about cutting down. I never agreed to anything else.”
“Just one day off, then. What can it hurt?”
“It hurts them,” she spat, yanking her hand back to point to the door. “It hurts me because every day they’re alive, they’re spreading the word about me. More will show up the next day.”
“I think it’s safe to say the rumor’s out.” He frowned. “Jarrod was right, wasn’t he? You can’t stop.”
She closed her eyes, forcing herself to take a breath. “I don’t want to,” she said a