That just made me laugh. “Oh please, I’ve been called a lot worse. And as far as the other stuff goes, there was a lot more to it than the drugs. It wasn’t your fault.”
She glanced back up at me. “You don’t hate me?”
“Nadia, I don’t have a problem with you. Never did. I’m not some deluded woman who wants to pretend my husband was a monk when we weren’t together. And I’m definitely not gonna judge you for having feelings. God forbid, right? Honestly, I have no fucking idea how you girls do it. Never mind the emotional highs and lows, you couldn’t pay me enough to clean up after those animals and their parties. Jesus. I’m sure you’ve seen shit you’ll never scrub from your brain.”
Finally, her lips curled up a little. “I didn’t mind. They’re good guys, they help the girls out a lot.”
That much was true and judging by Nadia’s appearance now, it was clear that she’d been a lot better off while in the club’s good graces. I just couldn’t get past how fucking emaciated she looked. All of a sudden, my afternoon ride seemed a lot less important than getting her fed. “I feel like a burger,” I tossed out. “Care to join me? There’s a little hole-in-the-wall place up the street that makes the best mushroom swiss.”
She looked down again. “I can’t really afford to, but it’s nice of you to ask.”
I wasn’t about to take ‘no’ for an answer and handed her my helmet. “I asked, it’s my treat. Hop on.”
“Are you sure?”
I swung my leg over the bike and patted the seat behind me. “I’m sure. Come on, you look like you haven’t eaten in a month.”
She cracked an actual smile and quickly jumped on. Her hands fumbled around nervously the entire two blocks, like she didn’t know an appropriate way to hold onto a woman rider, especially this one. Thankfully, we managed to make it to Luna Burgers without her ass flying off.
As we waited for our food to come out, Nadia practically inhaled the vanilla milkshake I’d insisted she order. Two hundred more of those and maybe she’d look human again. Goddamn. I wondered if that was what I’d looked like from across the table of the diner Torch had taken me to the day we met.
“Guess I was right about you being hungry,” I remarked. “What’s been going on with you, Nad? What happened after you left?”
She bit her lip and ran a finger along the rim of her glass. “I lost my job when Torch banned me, so I went to Denver to start over. I landed a bartending spot and tried to get clean, but it’s hard to do when the shit’s always in front of you. I got busted for possession in a sweep of the bar, but luckily the judge sent me to rehab instead of jail. But by the time I got out and paid the fines, I was broke again. My head was a lot clearer though and I knew I didn’t wanna keep going down that road anymore. I came back a few weeks ago because everything’s cheaper here, but it’s hard to find a job in a small town where everybody knows your business and thinks you’re just some junkie stripper. And a lot of places don’t wanna get on the club’s bad side by hiring one of their lepers.”
Well, shit. I knew the club had reach, but that wasn’t fucking cool at all. It seemed like Nadia’s punishment was a hell of a lot worse than her so-called crimes. I felt for her, I really did. “What about family or friends?” I asked. “You don’t have anybody to help you get back on your feet?”
“I burned all those bridges. My parents moved to California when they retired and we haven’t talked in years anyway, they’re really religious and hated that I got in with the MC. As for friends… well, the club was my life for a long time. All of that went away too.”
“So where are you staying right now?”
She looked away. “In my car. Zed gave me a beater Corolla that somebody abandoned at the shop. He’s helped me out a couple times on the down low. But please don’t tell Torch, he’ll get pissed.”
Interesting little tidbit she’d revealed there, but it didn’t surprise me. Of all the guys, Zed had always seemed like the most empathetic. “What Zed does in