holly. But as she looked up at the sound, she realized her mistake.
The door she’d just walked through flew open, letting in a gusty wind and...Mr. Stallworth.
Her whole body went cold, though she knew it had little to do with the frigid air he’d let in and everything to do with...him. Here. Alone.
“What are you doing?” she asked, pulling up straighter as she braced herself.
Because she knew what he wanted. As he moved toward her, remorse and regret pulled at the corners of his mouth making his normally handsome features, tight and drawn. “I needed to speak with you,” he said. In his hands he held his hat and she watched as he twisted it as he slowly moved toward her, his face tight with emotion. “Sarah…” He breathed her name like it was a prayer.
She shook her head stepping back. She didn’t want his pretty words or his practiced smile. She didn’t want a thing from him ever again. “This is hardly appropriate, Mr. Stallworth—”
“I’ve been waiting all morning to find a moment alone with you,” he said. There was a desperation in his voice, in his gaze...it made her chill turn to ice in her veins. “When I saw you heading in this direction, I knew where you would go.”
His expression turned knowing and she swallowed down a wave of regret. Shame. This was the place she had planned to meet him that night eighteen months ago. She’d told him to meet here so they might have their farewell.
And then Everly had stopped her and—
Thank goodness he had.
The realization hit her with a jolt. Thank goodness he’d put an end to it before she could have been caught. Ruined. Stuck with this man whose love had not lasted two years. If it had existed at all.
What a fool she had been.
When he moved toward her again, she shook herself out of her thoughts of self-loathing and fixed him with a glare. “You should not be here, Mr. Stallworth.”
“But we are in love.” He took another step in her direction, his hands reaching out, palms up, in a pleading gesture.
“You are to be married,” she snapped, a fist clenching at her side.
He finally came to a stop, and he let out an exasperated sigh. “Is that what is worrying you, love?” His smile was sweet, but her stomach turned.
Had his sweet smile always been so...patronizing?
He reached a hand out to tuck a curl behind her ear and she was too stunned to jerk away. Why did he think he had the right to touch her? “What are you doing?”
His gaze was soft, so tender, so...mawkish and sentimental. All the gestures she’d thought she’d understood were cast into a new light. There was nothing genuine here and certainly nothing special.
Her stomach turned as she shuffled back a step until the back of her legs bumped into a planter.
“I do not love her, you know,” he said.
She shook her head. “I do not wish to hear this, Mr. Stallworth. You are engaged to be married. That is all that matters now.”
“Yes, but you must understand. I never stopped loving you. What happened between Miss Rathmore and I was a misunderstanding, nothing more.” His voice lower and his expression grew grim. “Truth be told, the girl trapped me into marriage. You must know that is the only reason I would have gone back on my vow to you.”
Sarah stared at him, unable to respond because her head was whirling and her limbs were shaking. Her heart was racing—but not with excitement, and with nothing close to love. She knew that now.
The way her pulse pounded… This was not love.
This was fear.
And the last time she’d seen Mr. Stallworth at that ill-fated house party… It had been excitement. Girlish, childish, foolish excitement.
But never love.
How did she know…
Her heart raced even faster and her lips parted with a gasp. She knew because this was nothing like what she felt around Everly. This was night and day compared to the way he made her feel alive and seen and valued and understood.
When Stallworth shifted closer it was not the heady rush of connection she felt, it was...nothing.
This was nothing. It had always been nothing. She’d just been too foolish to realize. Caught up in her own fantasy and desire to prove to her family she was grown up enough for love and marriage.
When he took another step closer, she finally lifted her gaze to meet his and the dark greedy desire she saw there made