but Ruby holds Liam’s gaze until he releases his breath in a long sigh. She hasn’t just played a winning hand with that, she’s wiped every other card off the table. I’m not sure I totally understand the dynamic of this group, beyond what Charlie said about them not wanting to separate—why is it so important that we convince Liam to do this?
He leans forward and rests his forehead against the steering wheel. Ruby puts a familiar hand on the back of his neck, stroking the skin there. And I know, if I know nothing else, that the he they’re talking about isn’t Lucas, and that Mia is wrong—that he does know what she’s feeling. Maybe better than the rest of us.
“Ruby, when do you have to be back for the check-in?” I ask.
“The government agent usually comes by in the morning,” she admits. “They randomly pick a time to make sure I’m where I’m supposed to be—usually around eight o’clock.”
“And that was the compromise,” Liam said, “to avoid her having to wear an electronic monitoring device.”
That sends a shudder through me.
“But I talked to my dad before we left,” Ruby charges on, “and he can stall them until at least noon.”
“How?” Chubs demands.
“By saying he sent me off so he could talk to them privately about safety concerns,” she explains. I have to imagine that her parents are terrified of her leaving, but, at this point, are willing to do just about anything out of their lingering guilt for letting her be taken to a camp.
“Fine,” Liam breathes out, “but promise me that if it looks like it’s going to take us an extra day to get there, we turn around. Promise me.”
Mia tenses again, and I think she’s about to call him out on being selfish for choosing her over Lucas, but I grip her wrist and give a sharp shake of my head.
Ruby doesn’t look like she’s about to cut that deal until Liam adds, “That’s also what he would want.”
Finally she nods.
Charlie throws his hands up into the air before settling back against his seat, arms crossed. Vida gives him an affectionate pat on his knee, and it turns into a surprisingly sweet, quick kiss on the cheek when Ruby and Liam turn and face forward. I’m almost embarrassed I get caught watching.
It’s decided.
We’re going to find Lucas.
I’m surprised at the small scream I feel welling up inside my chest, ballooning out until I’m sure I’ll burst at my seams. I don’t want this—I do, but I don’t. If something happens to Ruby while we get him, it will be trading one of my people for another, and I don’t have any spares, I don’t have a single person I can lose now. I’ve handed out all the keys to my heart, and losing either of them—or, God, both—will lock it forever.
The phone vibrates. Ruby looks down and then back over at Liam.
He sits up, reaching for the small screen on the car’s console, bringing up a menu. “All right, darlin’, read me the address. When you’re done, you’d best ask him where we can still cross the zone border undetected.”
Mia looks like she’s about to jump out of her seat and punch the air—and, actually, so does Vida. But I keep my hand on Mia’s, pinning it to the seat. We can’t celebrate yet—my mind is already churning out all of the reasons why we can’t. He could be gone by the time we get there. Too far gone to save, or already removed from the safe house, brought to the…my mind stretches the word, turns it into a hiss. Facility.
The same one he was in before?
I bite the inside of my lip hard enough to tear it, draw blood.
We are not safe yet, either. When this is all over, we will not have our own safe house to return to. This will be our life now. Cars, moving, guessing, fighting, hoping.
I’m so grateful Ruby has found her courage, but I wish she could carve off a piece of it and pass it back to me. How strange that we’ve managed to trade places, that I’m the shadow now. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe I get to rest, just for a little while.
No. It’s not okay.
Liam pulls back onto the highway after Ruby reads off some instructions from Nico about where to cross the zone lines, as well as a reluctantly delivered estimate of the new driving time factoring in traffic patterns and roadblocks.
Ruby reaches over