Thorn Queen Page 0,128

the day restless and bored, unsure of what to do with myself. I did some laundry, despite Tim's protests that he could do it, and scarfed down lots of his stir-fry. The animals were all there, which led me to believe Kiyo was still staying there too. After I'd refused to see him at my parents', I half-expected him to have moved out.

Honestly, I wasn't sure what to do now. I didn't plan on going to the Otherworld anytime soon, and there was no way-as I told Lara later on the phone-that I could take any new jobs for a while. This made both Tim and her nervous about my accounting, but I knew my savings account was at least temporarily secure.

My magic I left completely alone. I wasn't going near that, even though there were times the air and the water vapor around me would call to me like a siren's song, and I'd burn to touch them. The one bit of magic I did use was shamanic: I tried to summon Volusian. He didn't come. I wasn't sure what to think of that.

I was almost grateful for nightfall so that I could go to bed and stop trying to figure out things to pass the time. I wondered if this apathy was just a natural consequence of the trauma I'd been through, some kind of numbed state. TV, my puzzles, even Tim's cheery chatter...none of it could hold my attention. I wasn't bored, exactly. I just wasn't very engaged with the world.

That night, just as I used to do, I dreamed of the Thorn Land. The dream was so vivid and real. It was like I'd stepped outside my own home to go walking in the foothills, like my soul was traveling on without my body. The air was sharp and clean, filled with the fragrance of desert flowers. The sun was warm and merciless-yet comforting in its familiarity. And the colors...the colors made my dream self want to weep. Peaches and greens and all the colors of the cacti flowers looking up at the clear blue, blue of the sky. For the first time since my capture and rape, I felt at peace. I felt whole and healed in the dream.

I woke up with a longing in my chest, like there was a piece of me missing. The sharpness of it startled me-and scared me a little. Tossing on a robe, I made my way out to the kitchen, hoping coffee and breakfast would shake off that all-consuming desire to run to the Otherworld.

"Kiyo," I exclaimed. He sat at the table with coffee, both dogs at his feet. I had a weird deja vu from coffee with Roland yesterday and suspected there was "a talk" in store for me.

"Eugenie," he said, looking up from the paper. His eyes were warm and chocolate-brown, filled with so much love. He rose from his chair and approached me, arms open. I started to go into his embrace but something made me shrink back, some protective instinct of my body's to keep itself safe. I knew he wasn't Leith. I knew Kiyo loved me...but there was just something within me that was afraid to touch anyone else. My mother was the only one I'd allowed to hug me so far.

Sadness and hurt flashed through Kiyo's eyes at my rejection, but he seemed to understand. Awkwardly, he simply gave me a soft touch on the arm, which I allowed with only a slight flinch. We both sat down-after I'd fetched coffee-and he drank me in with those intense eyes, like he hadn't seen me in years. Of course, these last two weeks or so had certainly felt like years to me, so perhaps that wasn't such a bad comparison.

"How are you?" he asked. "I've missed you so much. I've been so worried."

"I'm okay. I was in good hands."

"How's your shoulder?"

I gave it a slight shrug. "Stiff. But mending. I could probably go over to the Otherworld and get someone to patch it right up."

His face instantly darkened. "I think you need to stay away from there for a while."

"Jesus Christ. Not you too. I'm that land's ruler. I have to go back." A flash of the dream came back to me. It was more than some subconscious musing, I knew. The Thorn Land and I were tied. We couldn't stay apart. I had known that being away from it would cause it to die, and now I was realizing that I might