bare chests touched. I could barely breathe as I dived my hands into her hair and captured her head so she had no choice but to look at me.
Her long chocolate strands puddled over my legs. Her lips parted. Her eyes flared.
And I tore off my final mask.
For her.
I gave myself no going back, no pretending I hadn’t said such a thing, no way of convincing her she’d heard wrong.
“I love you, Eleanor Jinx Grace. I love you for your fire, your bravery, your stubbornness. I love that you’re not afraid of me. That you call me out on my bullshit. That you are the mirroring piece of everything that I lost along the way. I love that you are so kind to animals. That you are cursed with the same empathy I carry. That you’re a goddamn vegetarian. I love that Skittles fell for you, even though she’s the reason I lost everything I am. I lost everything because I gave it all to you the moment I saw her land on your shoulder. I love that you’re different from anyone else I’ve ever met. I love that every time we touch, we spark.”
I captured her chin, holding her firm. “I love you. That’s the curse you put on me. The reason I called you Jinx. The hex I felt the moment you stepped on my shores. And I’ll happily remain cursed for the rest of my godforsaken life if it means I get to keep you.”
She didn’t cry.
She didn’t lean in to kiss me.
She stayed staring into me, frowning slightly, letting the echo of my commitment puddle around us until we were an island in a sea of pledges and promises.
I didn’t move.
I couldn’t.
I had no other card to play. I had no idea if I would win her, and I was too chicken shit to shake her and demand a reply because as long as she sat on my lap, then I hadn’t lost her.
It didn’t matter if she refused to give me an answer for decades. I would sit here and wait. I would hold her through every sunrise and sunset and wait.
I would wait until she gave me my freedom by admitting that she loved me back.
Please…
Slowly, she moved.
I sucked in a breath as she pushed upward with her knees, dislodging my hold in her hair.
I couldn’t lie.
My heart motherfucking broke.
After everything. After pouring out the nucleus of who I was, stained and tainted with the filth I’d carried inside me for so long, she’d made up her mind.
I’ve lost her.
I sighed heavily, slouching in place and letting my arms fall to my sides. I wouldn’t stop her from leaving. I would do whatever she asked. Even if that request meant she wanted me to keep my distance from her at all times.
Fuck!
My eyes bruised with grief, but I gritted my teeth and stayed stoic. I stared at her belly, unable to look into her stunning silver gaze as she walked away.
Goddammit, everything hurt.
My head.
My chest.
The very blood in my veins.
I’d felt loss before. So many times before. I’d watched pets being butchered and animals being tortured, and I’d mourned for them until I’d vomited up my uselessness to help.
But that pain was nothing compared to this.
She remained agonisingly silent as she poised over me, ready to push off and climb to her feet.
Only…
Her hands didn’t go to my shoulders for purchase to stand. Her hands went to my belt.
I stiffened as she unbuckled me, unbuttoned me, unzipped me.
I sucked in tattered gulps of air as her delicate hands went to my boxer-briefs and tugged them away.
I went lightheaded as she wrapped her small fingers around my throbbing hardness. I made a noise I couldn’t contain as she ran her thumb through the bead of pre-cum at the top. She pressed on the slit, sending shockwaves down my shaft and into my balls. The noise came again, torn from the bottom of my lungs, tangled with a snarl, a growl, a groan, a beg.
I was completely at her fucking mercy as she pumped my length, once, twice, then angled herself over me.
Without a word, she positioned my cock at her entrance.
Our eyes locked as my hands found her hips, holding on as she sank down my length. Slow and torturous, hot and wet and tight.
Fucking hell.
My head fell back as I gave myself permission to feel everything. Not just the physical part of what she did to me but the emotional part too. I let