would feel normal to me again. After giving the destruction one last look, I huffed out a breath and trailed Arik down the stairwell and out the front door.
A bright light flashed across the gray sky, and thunder cracked a moment later. Rain plastered my ponytail to the back of my neck. I ducked under a canopy.
“I’m sorry about your flat.”
“Thanks.” Hopefully, our insurance had battle coverage.
Arik pressed up to my side to avoid the torrent as we waited for everyone else. The scent of smoke clung to his clothes. With him that close, my blood rushed so fast through my body blood swished in my ears. “I can hardly stand you being mixed up in all this,” he whispered while tucking a stray ribbon of my hair behind my ear. He suddenly backed away from me. It was as if he was warring with himself. “If you were to get hurt because of me—”
“None of this is your fault.”
“It is. Veronique came to Asile to make amends. To be friends—” A sarcastic laugh cut off his words. “I guess I wanted to believe she’d changed. I trusted her. She gathered yours and the others’ information from my mission recorder. I left it unattended. Because of me, Asile is in danger.”
Trust no one, Gia, he’d said. He was so right. I placed a shaky hand on his arm. “Oh, Arik, I’m sorry.”
“No. It’s I who should be sorry, not you. I’m lead Sentinel for our group. I shouldn’t have taken such liberties and should have worked harder to keep your secrets.” He swiped his fingers through his wet hair. “With the recent goings-on, it’s best we keep our wits about us.”
“Friends, right?” The words tasted like metal and regret in my mouth. I wanted to be his everything. But what I wanted more was to make things easier for him.
His sad eyes locked with mine. “Right, then.”
The longing for him to hold me sliced my heart into pieces. The door to my apartment complex opened and Kale stumbled out with Lei and Sinead following. I turned to face the street, the pieces of my torn heart jumbled in my chest. For Arik’s sake, I had to let go of the hope of us ever being anything other than friends.
Arik stepped away from me, dragging my mess of a heart with him. “What took you so long?”
“I had to bandage Lei’s arm,” Kale said. “She has a nasty cut.”
“We’d best be on our way,” Arik said and headed up the street.
I lagged behind the rest as we rushed to the Athenæum. Every few minutes Arik ran his fingers through his wet hair to get it out of his face. Sinead kept looking back at me, giving me a reassuring smile from under the bucket hat that covered her pointed ears, which I returned with a forced one.
The nearer we got to the library, the sadder I grew about Arik saying he was sorry for taking liberties with me—for getting closer. With his sexy Irish accent, he called out instructions to the other Sentinels, leading the way along Boston’s busy streets with his swagger and panther prowess. My heart squeezed at the sight of him.
Am I falling for him? We turned on to Park Street. If I were, I’d know it, right? I was so confused. By the time we darted up the steps of the Athenæum, I decided to stay as far away from Arik as possible. It was the only way to protect my heart.
Chapter Twenty
Arik and Sinead sprang up the steps to the Athenæum’s door. The rest of us loitered on the sidewalk below. Sinead turned toward the street, fanning the air with her hand, as if she was waving to someone across the way.
Kale came to my side. “It’s glamour.”
“What?”
“Sinead is cloaking our illegal entry into the library,” he clarified.
“Oh,” I muttered.
The clouds parted over the State House and glinted over the building’s golden dome. The Boston Common was just beyond the State House. Pop and I used to picnic there, watching the blue tower light on the old Hancock building. Steady blue, clear view. Flashing blue, clouds due. Pop would recite the rhyme that helped everyone remember what the lights stood for. If the light was red, we stayed home. On the Saturdays it was blue, we’d sit on the grass, filling each other in on how our week had gone, before life got too busy. He’d hid his disappointment well when each time he’d invite me,