gotta stop this,” Alfie said. “I can’t go on like this.”
Alfie was clearly one of those people who turned maudlin after a good night out. Somehow, this only made him more attractive.
“It’s just a hangover, Alfie.”
“It’s more than that. See, there’s this girl. . . .”
“Ah,” Magnus said, nodding. “You know, the quickest way to mend a broken heart is to get right back on the wagon. . . .”
“Not for me,” Alfie said. “She was the only one. I make good money. I got everything I want. But I lost her. See . . .”
Oh no. A story. This was perhaps too maudlin and too much for the early hour, but handsome and heartbroken young men could occasionally be indulged. Magnus tried to look attentive. It was hard to do so over the glare of the sun and his desire to go back to sleep, but he tried. Alfie recounted a story about a girl named Louisa, something about a party, and some confusion over a letter, and there was something about a dog and possibly a speedboat. It was either a speedboat or a mountain cabin. Those things are hard to mix up, but it really was much too early for this. Anyway, there was definitely a dog and a letter, and it all ended in disaster and Alfie coming to Magnus’s bar every night to drink away his sorrows. As the story lurched to its conclusion, Magnus saw the first of the sleepers on his floor start to show signs of life. Alfie did too, and he leaned in to speak to Magnus more privately.
“Listen, Magnus,” Alfie said. “I know you can . . . do things.”
This sounded promising.
“I mean . . .” Alfie struggled for a moment. “You can do things that aren’t natural. . . .”
This sounded very promising indeed, at least at first. However, Alfie’s saucer-eyed expression indicated that this was not an amorous inquiry.
“What do you mean?” Magnus asked.
“I mean . . .” Alfie lowered his voice further. “You do . . . those things you do. They’re . . . they’re magic. I mean, they have to be. I don’t believe in the stuff, but . . .”
Magnus had maintained the premise that he was nothing but a showman. It was a premise that made sense, and most people were happy to accept it. But Alfie—an otherwise down-to-earth mundie—appeared to have seen through it.
Which was attractive. And worrying.
“What exactly are you asking me, Alfie?”
“I want her back, Magnus. There has to be a way.”
“Alfie . . .”
“Or help me forget. I bet you could do that.”
“Alfie . . .” Magnus didn’t really want to lie, but this was not a discussion he was going to get into. Not now, and not here. Yet it seemed like he needed to say something.
“Memories are important,” he said.
“But it hurts, Magnus. Thinking about her makes me ache.”
Magnus didn’t really want this kind of thing this early in the morning—this talk of aching memories and wanting to forget. This conversation needed to end, now.
“I need a quick splash in the bath to restore myself. Let room service in, won’t you? You’ll feel better once you eat something.”
Magnus patted Alfie on the shoulder and made his way to the bathroom. He had to eject two more sleepers from the bathtub and the bathroom floor in order to engage in his ablutions. By the time he emerged, room service had produced six rolling tables laden with pitchers of tomato juice and all the eggs and grapefruit and coffee needed to make the morning bright again. Some of the near dead sleeping around the suite had risen and were now noisily eating and drinking and comparing notes to see who was feeling the worst.
“Did you get our presents, Magnus?” one of the men said.
“I did, thank you. I’d been needing some spare tires.”
“We got them off a police car. To get them back for ruining your place.”
“Very kind of you. Speaking of, I suppose I should go check on what’s left of my establishment. The police didn’t look happy last night.”
No one paid much attention when he left. They continued to eat and drink and talk and laugh over their suffering, and occasionally run to the bathroom to be ill. It was this way more or less every night and every morning. Strangers appeared in his hotel room, always a wreck after the previous night. In the morning, they stuck themselves back together again. They rubbed at raccoon-eyed faces