lot, and you can’t expect to just bounce right back from that. Cut yourself some slack, and lean on Cade and Merrick.”
She smiled for the first time since the guys had taken her on the picnic. “I plan to. I promise. They’re pretty good boulders to prop on.”
“Boulders?” Cade asked. He glanced at Merrick. “Were we just insulted?”
The two men stood in the background, silently observing Dallas as he spoke with Elle. Until now. They moved forward as Dallas completed his discussion with Elle.
“What do you think, Dallas?” Merrick asked in a serious tone.
Dallas sighed. “This isn’t my area of expertise. I’d like to be able to do a CT scan just to check for any damage to her brain, but for obvious reasons, that’s not possible. In all likelihood, it’s a simple matter of her mind protecting her from the horror she endured at her attacker’s hands. Will she ever remember? I can’t say. It’s probably dependent on her desire to remember.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she ducked her head. They all knew she didn’t want to remember. She’d been brutally honest about that fact.
“So I’m standing in the way of my own recovery,” she said quietly.
Dallas shook his head. “I stand by my assertion that you’ll remember when you’re ready. It’s only been seven months, Elle. That’s not very long. It takes many women years to come to terms with being raped. We don’t even know what else you went through.”
She blew out her breath and nodded her understanding.
He pulled out a prescription pad and scribbled down an order for medication. But then he took another blank sheet, flipped it over and scrawled something over the paper.
“I’m giving you the name of a therapist. She’s a friend of mine, and I’ll only contact her if you give me permission. I trust her, and she’d be someone good for you to talk to. Maybe she can help you more than I can.”
“Thanks,” she said softly. “I’ll consider it.”
Dallas touched her cheek and then rose. “Time for me to head home. I’m due at work in just a few hours.”
“Thanks for coming by, Dallas,” Merrick said. “We appreciate it.”
“Not a problem,” Dallas returned. “I’ll see you all later. Call me if anything pops up or if you have any concerns.”
“Will do,” Cade promised.
Elle watched as Merrick walked Dallas out to his car, and then she sagged back onto the couch, closing her eyes.
She was a complete clusterfuck—to borrow one of the guys’ favorite expressions. It was certainly an appropriate term for her life and her situation.
It made her head hurt to think of all the ways she wasn’t able to give Cade and Merrick what they deserved. But she needed what they gave to her. It was the only thing keeping her together. If it weren’t for them, she would have shattered a long time ago.
“What do you say we try to grab a few hours of sleep before we have to get up for Merrick’s training and work?” Cade asked as they waited for Merrick to return.
She nodded, too tired to even voice the words.
He extended his hand down to Elle’s.
“Come on, sweetheart. It’s been one hell of a day. Let’s get you into bed and between me and Merrick, which is just where you belong.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
ELLE STARED DUBIOUSLY AT THE medicine bottle that Cade had picked up from the pharmacy and then quietly shoved it into the bathroom drawer. In the few days since the sleepwalking episode, she’d been leery of taking medication. So far, there hadn’t been a reoccurrence of the event, and unless there was, she wanted to stay away from drug-induced sleeps.
The guys had moved her into Cade’s room, though she still kept her clothes in the spare bedroom. Even the toiletries she’d kept in the hall bathroom had now been moved to the ensuite bathroom in Cade’s bedroom.
After checking her appearance, she straightened the camisole pajama top and then smoothed her hands down the soft, cotton bottoms.
Most people thought in terms of forever. She was on a day-to-day basis, afraid to look further than the present for fear of what the future held.
It was disconcerting to have no past or future and not to know what more than a few hours would bring.
There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.
“Elle? Honey, everything okay in there?”
She opened the door to Cade, who loomed just outside, and offered him a smile.
“Just fine. Was brushing my teeth.”
He swept his mouth over hers, tasting the mint from the