and suddenly she was paralyzed. His gaze was filled with unspoken questions, his face etched with an unreadable expression. She could feel the tension coming off his body, and it enveloped her. He looked like a man who had come to a decision. What was it?
“If I fight, drink till I pass out, drive like a maniac…no one gives a shit,” he said quietly. “I don’t care how I have to act, if that’s what I need to do to stop Ortega.”
“I’m not so sure it’s an act anymore,” she said.
“You may be right.” He lifted a hand toward her cheek but dropped it before he could touch her. But I warned you, Rose. I told you how much I want to put the bastard away. I said I’d do anything to get him, and I still mean that. I’m just not sure I’d do it the same way.”
“What about my mother? She—”
He suddenly looked uneasy. “She knew what she was getting into. I gave her every opportunity to pull out.”
Rose nodded. “She confirmed everything you said. How you urged her to take her chances and plead out. How she insisted on going undercover instead. How you promised her you wouldn’t tell me. Even the arrest she knew would come. I just wish it could have been played another way.”
“I do, too,” he said simply, his admission surprising her. “If I’d had any idea it would end like this, I would have refused to let her go undercover, no matter how badly she wanted it. I should never even have let her hear my boss’s offer. She should have taken the chance and left Ortega behind.”
“I don’t think she would have, no matter what you said or did,” Rose countered, now surprising herself. “The man she saw Ortega kill—he wasn’t a stranger. He was her lover after she’d realized what kind of man Ortega really was. He wouldn’t let her leave, but he couldn’t make her love him. She wanted revenge as much as she wanted anything.” She’d admitted that at the hospital. “But I’m not sure who used who in this deal.”
He didn’t seem shocked at her words. In fact, he looked as if his mind were somewhere else. His expression made her think again, and she considered his words, her thoughts swirling in confusion until they narrowed to a single sharp point.
Immediately, she questioned her realization, second-guessing herself. She couldn’t possibly be right. Then slowly and carefully, she accepted the truth.
Her mother hadn’t escaped. Santos had looked the other way, and allowed her to leave.
Rose suddenly understood his dedication to his work, his black and white ways, his shoot-now-ask-questions later routine had all been abandoned because he loved her. He’d been willing to forsake the very foundation of who he was because she meant more to him than anything else. Possibly even his life.
Her breath caught in her throat as she contemplated the enormity of what he’d done.
He’d let Gloria go. He’d bent the rules.
All for her.
…
Rose’s eyes widened in shock, and Santos knew exactly what was coming, but for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t lie. Even if it made a fool out of him, he had to tell her the truth. The time had come when he couldn’t do anything else.
“She didn’t escape, did she?” A tiny intake of breath accompanied her words. “You let her go.”
“Yes. I let her go. It was the only thing I could do, no matter the consequences. I love you too much to make your mother pay any more than she already has.” Capturing her gaze with his, he spoke softly. “I love you, Rose. I loved you when we lived together, I loved you when you walked out the door. I’ve loved you every minute since then. And I’ll never stop loving you. Never forget that, no matter what happens between us.”
She seemed to collapse against him. “Oh, God, Santos—I love you, too. I don’t know what I was thinking when I doubted you. I didn’t understand, but I do now.” She paused. “What made you change your mind? How did she…” She stopped, the ability to express herself escaping in light of her revelation.
“I was listening outside the door when you went to see her at the hospital. I’d gone there to formally charge her, then I heard the two of you talking about Mike Slider.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I pulled the hospital watch, and told Jessie to go home.”
She opened