Temptation on Ocean Drive - Jennifer Probst Page 0,108
Gabe either walked away or was taken in a tragedy haunted her. She’d never be able to do it twice. Wasn’t it almost easier to take the pain now and avoid a love that deep? A love that could wreck her very world and tear her soul apart?
She’d become a woman afraid of trusting her heart and afraid of making her own choices, and God, she was so tired of questioning herself, worried that she might never be enough for Gabe. Her emotions crashed down and exploded from her. Tears leaked from her eyes, and her body shook as she bowed her head and wept. Taylor came over and pulled her into a tight, hard hug. Her sister let her cry for a while, not saying a word, and when she was done, she took both her hands and squeezed.
“Listen to me, Bella. This is important. You have to stop settling for half a life out of stupid fear and decide to grasp what you want, even if it scares the shit out of you. Love is awful. But will the unknown ever stop you from loving Zoe, or me, or Avery, or Mom and Dad?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Exactly. Gabe is the same way, but this time, you get to choose, which is more powerful. You will never be the same person you were before you lost your husband. No one expects you to. But don’t you dare hide behind excuses about gossip and age and a bunch of other stuff that doesn’t matter. I’ve seen the way that man looks at you—like you’re his damn sun, moon, and stars. Are you going to give that up for what-ifs?”
It was like the fog lifted, and she suddenly saw things the way Taylor did. The way she’d stacked her barriers to keep him out, rationalizing her excuses so they made perfect sense. Dear God, what had she done?
Had she lost him for good?
“You’re right,” she whispered. “What am I going to do, T? Should I try to talk to him? At this point, I don’t know if he’ll believe me.”
“Hmm, I don’t know. I mean, Avery would tell you conversation and communication is key. I’d tell you use sex to apologize and make him forget. But something’s telling me you need to make a statement in a big way for him to truly believe you’re all in.”
Suddenly, she heard Avery’s voice floating up the stairs.
“In here!” they both screamed together.
Avery walked in, looking at the explosion of stuff strewn around. “What’s going on? Spring-cleaning? Oh, cool boots—can I have them?”
Taylor snickered. “I knew you’d take them.”
Avery stuck out her tongue and flopped on the bed with them. She studied Bella’s face with a worried frown. “Have you been crying? Did Taylor say something to piss you off?”
“I’m always the one to blame around here,” Taylor grumbled.
Bella swiped at her eyes. “We were just talking about stuff.”
“Okay, I’ve been meaning to ask you about what’s going on, but I didn’t want to pry. But I think it’s time you open up. Oh, BTW, that stupid article in Exit Zero is running soon. I tried to help Gabe kill the story, but Michelle is claiming it’s news.” She shook her head with annoyance. “It’s ridiculous—I told her it was bad for business, but she insisted all news is good PR. Hey, wanna go out for dinner? Where’s Zoe?”
“Playing in her room,” Taylor said. “I’m getting laid. But Bella and Zoe are going out to eat later.”
“Good. Now, what’s wrong. Can I help with something?”
And just like that, the lightbulb went on.
A big statement.
Beach Bachelor of the Year.
A way to prove she was all in.
“Oh my God, I know!” Bella said, scrambling off the bed. “Can you watch Zoe? I have to go into town real quick and do something. T—can you let her know what’s going on?”
Avery gasped. “Wait! Taylor knows and I don’t? What’s that about?”
Taylor tossed her a smug look. “Maybe Bella and I are tighter than you know. Maybe she comes to me for all the advice now. What do you think of that, Miss Smarty Pants?”
“Don’t fight!” Bella called out. “I’ll be back!”
She had a man to claim.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bella twisted her fingers and looked at the calendar.
Tomorrow, she’d know.
Nerves gathered in her belly, but they were entangled with a sense of satisfaction. For the past few days, she’d been journaling and really looking at her life from a fresh viewpoint. More and more, she realized how many times