his ass. There’s no way to know for sure! He shared it just to be controversial. Most of its factors are unknown.”
I laughed as she rolled her eyes, those green orbs swimming in mirth. “Fine. But you have to admit there’s life out there. We’re not alone. It’s nice to find an explanation in something that doesn’t make sense to us,” I offered while wondering if there was a theory to explain why my chest felt like a cage barely containing my heart.
“Of course there’s life out there. I just think it’s limiting to slap a theory on it and pretend we understand it all. Maybe I should be an astronaut.”
“Giving up on being a doctor already?” I asked. That career path didn’t seem to fit her personality. Doctors were stiff and selfless. She’d been giving all her life; maybe it was time to be a little selfish and discover something for her own peace of mind.
“The human body disgusts me. Maximillian showed me a YouTube video of a septal myectomy, and I about puked. Have you ever seen the surgery for unclogging the congealed muscles of the heart? Gross. Pass.”
I laughed. I had in fact seen that particular surgery and found it interesting. “You didn’t think it was cool that they have to perform it on a motionless heart?”
“No. It freaked me out!” she exclaimed with a cringe. I wanted to dance over the conversation about Maxifuckingmillian but didn’t.
“There are lots of types of medicine. You don’t have to be a surgeon,” I offered, though I knew she didn’t want to be a doctor.
“Nope. Vomit, mucus, and pus aren’t my thing. Plus, I’m not much of a people person, and that job requires lots and lots of people in vulnerable states with sometimes volatile attitudes. I’m still searching for my career path. I kind of hate that MAMS wants you to know what you want to be when you grow up right away,” she added before settling deeper into the couch and sprawling her legs out. The tips of her toes brushed against my thigh, and I had to hiss out a breath like a fucking pussy.
“We put a lot of pressure on people to know the plans they have for the future,” I agreed.
“When did you know you wanted to be a teacher?”
“When I learned that school was a good escape from my father. My test scores didn’t care that he had a billion dollar advertisement deal or that he could catch a football. You either knew the information or you didn’t. There’s power in that.”
She stared at me in awe for a moment, and I knew it had nothing to do with my father’s lucrative career. She liked the subtle truth I placed at her feet like a bloody offering, and she was soaking in the magic of it.
“I feel the same way, for different reasons, of course. My mother was known around town as a loser—an idiot. I guess I wanted to break the mold and be smarter than her. She used to brag that I didn’t get any of her looks, used to claim she was prettier than me. I never much liked the idea of bragging about something so fleeting, so I made sure to be smart. Smarter than her. Smarter than that damn town, too.”
I put down my barely-eaten sandwich on the coffee table to approach her, hovering my body over her waist as I precariously ran a finger over her wrist. Only her wrist. Anymore and I’d not be able to stop. “You’re beautiful,” I whispered. “You shine like the whole universe is right there at your fingertips.”
She let out a shaky breath before shaking her head as I snapped back, increasing the distance between us. “I wasn’t fishing for compliments,” she whispered.
“I don’t like fishing. It’s boring,” I replied.
She got up from her comfortable spot on the couch and started cleaning up after us, the anxious energy within her was blooming like a Venus fly trap, ready to snap at the first fly that came its way. “I’ll get that,” I offered before following her into the kitchen. Her shaky hands wiped down the countertops, smearing the spaghetti sauce I’d splattered in the process. I reached out to grab her wrist. “I got it,” I whispered before pulling her close. We stood there like statues, poised in the nothingness of our promise while aching to leap into something. Or maybe that was just me.