brother and I rebuild what had been damaged by my reaction to Lorna, my leaving.
Move forward.
Yeah, that.
Still, didn’t mean I was going to make it easy on them.
“Charlie,” I said.
Two pairs of eyebrows lifted in unison.
“Um,” Lane said. “Do you have something to tell the class, Garret?”
I shrugged. “Charlie’s a plumber.”
Two pairs of eyebrows rising higher.
“Okay,” Sam said. “I didn’t expect that plot twist. I mean, go you, but . . . you think you know a person after twenty-two years.” He blinked slowly. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Lane nodded. “Right. I mean, I know the shit with Lorna was bad, but you didn’t think you could tell your brother and your best friend that you were into guys?”
Garret frowned. “And what? I owe you an explanation about my sexuality?”
“N-no. That’s not—”
God, it was fun watching Lane sputter for a change. He considered himself woke so it was nice to occasionally get him on his back foot, to make him think twice. Still, he was my brother and had flown across the country because he was worried about me. So, I put him out of his misery. “Charlie is a nickname for Charlotte and she is the prettiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
Brows were still lifted. “And this Charlie—Charlotte—is a plumber?”
I nodded.
“Whoa, another plot twist,” Lane said.
Sam leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, blowing out a relieved breath. “Thank God.” He turned and punched me in the arm. “Not that I would care. I was just starting to feel like the worst best friend in the history of all best friends, thinking you didn’t feel comfortable telling me you were bi. Here I thought we could talk about everything and—”
“You know about me fumbling for a solid two minutes, trying to put a condom on backward my first time with Stephanie Ronson,” I muttered. “I think you’d realize by now that you know everything about me.”
“I didn’t know you were dating a plumber named Charlie.”
I paused. “Touché.”
“Great,” Lane said, clapping his hands together. “Sam gets to keep his Best Friend Card, Garret is over the evil witch that is Lorna, so when do we get to meet this Charlie?”
My face fell.
Lane sighed.
Sam dropped his chin to his chest.
“Already?” Lane asked.
Sam finished the sentiment. “You already fucked up with her?”
My heart twisted. “Yeah,” I admitted. “I fucked up.”
Lane leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Okay, then, how do we fix it?”
“Can we talk about this later?”
“No.”
“No.”
“I need more alcohol for this conversation.”
The doorbell rang, and Sam got up to answer it, bringing in way too many bags of food. He set them on the kitchen counter and fished out a twelve-pack plus a bottle of tequila.
“Pick your poison,” he said, holding them up.
I pointed to the tequila, but all I could think was that for the first time in a long time, I’d heard the word poison and hadn’t thought it was in reference to me.
Progress.
Fucking finally.
“So, what you’re saying is that you were a stupid shit and pushed away the only woman you’ve dated who’s cool and special and treats you right because you were scared?” Sam asked, brows raised, and enough tequila consumed to make his cheeks flushed, when I’d finished laying out the last two weeks.
Though, come to think of it, my cheeks felt hot, too.
Then again, after the amount of tequila I’d just consumed, that shouldn’t come as a surprise. Unfortunately, even after the burn of the alcohol had subsided from my throat, the sting of shame remained.
“Yeah,” I said simply.
Lane socked me in the shoulder. “Dumb ass.”
I reached for another slice of pizza. Yes, both my lunch and dinner had consisted of the food, and no, I would not be judged for it.
“Yup,” Sam said. “That’s the crux of it.”
I shoved the pizza into my mouth, gnawing off a huge bite so I wouldn’t agree with them. Which I wanted to. I’d been a stupid shit and an idiot. I screwed up something good and sweet and wonderful because I’d been scared.
Sam picked up his beer, said casually, “So, what are you going to do to fix it?”
I froze, slice hanging out of my mouth like an idiot. “Shm-hut?”
“You fucked up,” Lane said, as though it were just that easy. “So you fix it.”
“I—” My teeth clicked together.
I mean, I knew they were right. I had some ground to make up, some groveling to do, but also . . . was I really ready to go there?
If I wasn’t, but I went