now she had lost it - and something about the words 'she lost the baby' finally made him realize what he could have had.
"Can we see her?" Austin asked.
"Only immediate family at this time."
"I'm the father of the baby," Cameron told her, hoping that would give him access. He wasn't thinking about anything else. All he knew was that the baby that he wasn't ready for had died, and it was the worst feeling in the world.
The doctor nodded. She looked at her chart. "Mr. Rome?"
"Yes," he managed to say, and then looked up at the doctor. She recognized him now - he could see it in the way she looked at him. "I'd appreciate it if you could keep this quiet. I don't want the press to know about any of it. I don't need paparazzi in here, and I'm sure Madison needs it even less."
"Of course." The doctor nodded. "If you'll come right this way, you can see Ms. Drew."
Cameron followed behind the doctor, not sure what he would be walking into when he saw Madison. He walked through the door to her room to find her laying on her side, with her back to him. There was an IV standing beside the bed with a few bags of fluid on it. There was a monitor beside her that seemed to be measuring her heart rate. He watched the blips on the screen, steady and sure.
He slowly walked around to the other side of the bed where she could see him. Her face was tear-stained and her eyes were closed. She looked so tired and so pale, just a shell of the fiery woman he first met.
He placed his hand on hers, and she opened her eyes.
"Hi," he whispered.
"Hi," she said, rolling over on her back and running her hands over her face. "I must be a sight, huh?" she said with a humorless laugh.
"You've been through hell." He knew that had to be the truth. Hearing the news in the waiting room was hellish for him, so what she had gone through had to be much, much worse.
She reached over to the stand beside the bed, picked up a folder and handed it to him. "Here are your results."
Cameron instantly wanted to cry. He hadn't wanted to cry in years, but seeing her acting so stoic and calm almost did him in. He held the folder in his hand for a moment, but didn't open it. Instead, he tossed the folder into the garbage can next to her bed.
"I don't need them. I already know I'm the father." His throat tightened. "That I was the father."
Madison began crying. "I'm so sorry, Cameron. I'm sorry that I lost our baby."
Cameron sat on the edge of the bed and hugged her body to his. She shook against him with the force of her grief. "Shh, it's not your fault. The doctor said it just happens sometimes."
Cameron gave up trying to be strong. His tears fell onto her hair. He hadn't been ready for the baby...but now he realized that he wanted it, all the same.
Chapter Six
Madison was released from the hospital the next day under strict orders from her doctor to take it easy. Austin walked by her side as a nurse pushed her wheelchair to the front doors, where a taxi was waiting for them. Madison had a moment of wondering what it would have been like to be pushed to those doors with a baby in her arms. Neither one said a word, both feeling the solemnity of the moment.
Once back at her apartment, Madison went straight for her bedroom and let the tears fall as soon as she lay down. The guilt was immeasurable. If only she hadn't regretted the pregnancy, maybe she wouldn't have lost the baby. Or, if she had slowed down a little, her body would have been able to accommodate the pregnancy. Maybe she worked too hard. Maybe she didn't get enough sleep. Maybe it happened because she had been so drunk the night the baby was conceived. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be a mother.
All sorts of thoughts flew through her mind, but in the end, none of them mattered. She had still lost her baby.
She heard a soft knock on her door, and wiped her eyes before calling him in. She knew Austin was only trying to help, but there was nothing he could do. There was nothing anyone could do.
"Did you want me to make you anything to