them. Within minutes they were kissing passionately. Before things went too far, Cari had something to tell him. She wasn’t looking to commit, she explained. She, too, had had relationships that had soured, and she wasn’t ready to be tied down again.
In addition to her divorces, there had been serious romances that had fizzled. Though Cari didn’t mention it to Dave, in one case an ex had been reluctant to let go and had become so aggressive that she had been compelled to file a restraining order against him. She hadn’t seen Alec in at least two years, but his bad behavior had made her wary. The last thing she wanted was more drama, and she told Dave that she was open to having a physical relationship, but he shouldn’t read too much into that. She was not ready to give up her freedom.
“I felt like I hit the jackpot,” he remembers. She wanted the same things he did, fun and excitement without expectations. After months of Liz badgering him, Cari’s freewheeling approach to love and life was a welcome relief. “It was all laughs and giggles from there.” He stayed the night, and though they were both busy over the next couple of weeks with their jobs and their kids, they made time for each other and saw each other about every other day. Their chemistry was incredible, and between dates he looked forward to seeing her again.
Liz, however, would not let go. On November 1, at 7:38 A.M. she sent Dave a rambling email: I know you don’t know what will happen down the road, and you don’t really want to think about it. Are you asking for the long break, so you can forget everything? I’m going to give it to you, so don’t worry. I was just wondering, sorry. I guess I need closure. Do I forget everything about us? I’m going to date others, but if no one catches my eye, do I get to hope time makes the heart go fonder? Or do you want me to go and never come back? I’m not saying we will ever get back together. I’m just asking, do I go and never look back? I guess I hope even if you’re dating others that you’ll look back and smile when you think of me, that someday you’ll let me back in, no matter what it be, a friend or whatever.
The email went on, with Liz urging him to tell her what he was thinking, apparently oblivious to the fact he had told her multiple times that he liked her, but she didn’t mean all that much to him and that she should never ever expect him to stop seeing other women or to commit to her. She ended the email telling him she hoped he had a great day and that she would understand if he wanted to stop talking to her. A few minutes later she wrote again, explaining that she hadn’t hugged him the last time she’d seen him because it would have felt like “a goodbye.” It was not as if Dave were sitting around fretting about why Liz had not hugged him. He was pretty annoyed with her after she’d barged in on his date, and all he had wanted that night was to get her out of his hair. He didn’t care, and frankly didn’t notice, that she hadn’t hugged him.
Twenty-four hours later, at about eight in the morning, Liz sent Dave another email, sarcastic and abrupt. Apparently, she had not meant it when she said she would understand if he wanted to cease communicating with her. She was obviously offended that a full day had passed, and he had failed to reply to her heartfelt emails. Well thank you for no response to email, she wrote. I get the answer. That’s it. Later. While she was stewing because he was ignoring her emails, he probably hadn’t even read them. He didn’t check his email every day, and his focus was on Cari. She was spending a lot of time at his place, and he wished he’d fixed it up nicer. He was the first to admit his apartment was not exactly luxury quarters.
He could not afford to buy new things after his split with Amy, and he had furnished his place with garage-sale finds and castoffs. “I had an ugly couch that Liz had given me. Supposedly from her grandparents’ house. It would be something you’d expect to find in your