Laughing at the level of desperation I’ve reached, I listen to it ring.
“Hello,” he says.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Trevor. What’s going on, son?”
“Nothing. Just got home a little while ago. Thought I’d check in.”
“I’m getting ready for bed. Meredith and I are heading down to Dogwood Lane next week, and we have a lot of preparations to work on. I figured you’d still be there when we got to town.”
My heart sinks. He’s going to Dogwood Lane, a town where I left a piece of my heart.
“I have work to do here,” I say.
“Jake said you were doing a good job of handling it online. And having Natalie there helps, of course.”
“Yeah.”
The line goes quiet. My mind is in Dogwood Lane, in a little house with no room in the kitchen and a living room with a fireplace. It’s with a woman with a penchant for doughnuts and pizza and blanketless nights.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” he asks.
I’m surprised he knows anything is wrong. It’s not like he and I have ever had some deep, emotional connection.
“I think I’m having a midlife crisis,” I say with a laugh.
He laughs heartily too. “If I’m having one, as you say, then you can’t have one too.”
“I don’t know how else to explain it, Pops.” I sit up and rest against the pillows. “I’m the same guy I’ve always been. Doing the same things I always have. Making decisions under the same rules I always use, and right now, it all feels . . . wrong.”
“I thought you were in love with her.”
“What? I’m not in love with Haley,” I say, dismissing it immediately. I stand up and pace the room, fighting the urge to yell into the darkness.
“Maybe you are. Love changes people, Trev. It makes you a different person.”
“But I like who I’ve always been.”
“Then go be that guy and do it without Haley.”
I grimace, hating that he thinks those are my options. “I’ll opt for Plan C, please.”
“There is no Plan C, and there’s no Plan B either. There’s Plan A: fall in love or regret it your whole life. As a matter of fact, that’s wrong. You don’t get an option to fall in love. You only have the option to accept it.”
I contemplate that. “But what if you accept it and then you decide you don’t want it anymore?”
“Is this about Tera?”
“Not completely.”
He sighs. “What happened to that girl isn’t your fault. You were as kind and as respectful as you could’ve been. And honestly, you were right to get out of that relationship. What if she would’ve killed you?”
“Dad.”
“Things happen.” He groans as he moves. “If you want to walk away from a relationship, then you aren’t in love with that person. It’s really, truly that simple.”
“But what if there are extenuating circumstances?” I press.
“Like if she becomes a serial killer? Or drug addict? Or is married to someone else?”
“Have you been watching daytime television with Meredith?”
Dad laughs. “The pleasures of retirement.”
“I’m worried, Dad. For real.”
He laughs again. “If something like that happens, then you still love the person. You try to help them. Sometimes you have to walk away, but it’s not to go be with someone else or because you’re bored or because you just want new pussy.”
I grimace. “Don’t say ‘pussy.’ It’s . . . weird.”
“Okay. Because you want to screw someone new. Better?”
“Let’s just not bother trying to word that right. Let’s move along.”
“All right. You’re going to have to figure out how it’s easier to sleep—beside the woman you love or without her. And if you really think you’ll mess her up that much that you’d rather sleep alone, then you don’t love her. So the answer is simple. And on that note, I’m going to go because I’m in love with a beautiful woman that’s currently in my bed waiting on me.”
I lie back on my bed and hear the air conditioner kick on. I grin, knowing Haley would be objecting and wishing she were here so I could listen to her complain.
“Night, Dad,” I say.
“Good night, son.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
HALEY
I prefer the sexual hangovers. This one is definitely not that.
The coffee takes too long to brew. Each second that passes feels like an eternity. I pull the cup from under the spout before it’s finished, and hot liquid spills onto the counter. It’s sad that I don’t even care.
I miss him already. The two phone calls last night and three texts didn’t help