has always been to put her first.”
Though he’d almost failed. Despite everything, he’d almost let it all slip through his fingers.
“Here’s the paste and some bandages.” Nayla squatted beside him. Thankfully, she was too worried about his hand, fussing over him as she applied the paste, to notice the tension arcing around her.
Lana and Cam stepped back, but they didn’t leave. Instead, they stared hard at him.
He glowered back. They could judge him all they liked. He’d never give Nayla up.
He’d just do better. Guard her more effectively.
Just out of direct sight, he could hear the rest of the crew readying the campsite, pitching tents. Acting as if he hadn’t almost lost his whole world.
Then, he heard Lana ask if Nayla was okay, inquire if she needed to be checked out, and her blithe response.
“Do not worry.” His wild thing sounded so pleased, so triumphant, as if the taste of her near-death victory had made her hungry for more. “I am stronger than I look. I am sure we will experience much worse in coming rotations. Grif can count on me. We a team.”
Just like his rope, he snapped.
“No!” He seized her by her forearms. He shook her once. “No. You don’t risk yourself for me like that ever again.”
He’d been trying so damn hard. Triple-checking everything. Remaining vigilant. But the threats kept coming.
“How the hells am I supposed to keep you safe if you won’t do as I say?” He shook her again. “What do you need me to do? Tie you up and stick you back in that damn cave until this is over?”
Her body jerked as if he’d struck her. She shoved her hands against his chest and staggered out of his hold.
She pushed to her feet. “No. We a team.”
The monster inside roared once more. “I’ll do what I have to do to keep you safe.”
“You said I guest, not prisoner.” She hurled his earlier words back at him.
“Then act like one. When I tell you to follow a command, you do it.”
“No.” Her lips flattened, her ears twitching, but the sadness in her gaze crushed him most of all. “I try to wait for you to see, but you don’t. You say that monsters do not control us. But real monster is not Talg or your father, real monster is fear—and you letting it rule you.”
“Bullshit.”
“I am sorry I scare you.”
His throat went tight. She’d always looked at him like she’d never let him go. Now, she stared at him like this was goodbye. Like he’d fallen down that cliffside, instead of standing right in front of her.
“You were one who showed me I could make choices, Grif, and I will always be grateful.”
He didn’t like where this was headed.
“You also help me to learn to say what I want. To know what I want. I want us to be forever pack. A real team.” She sucked down a sharp breath. “But I will not be treated as less. I will not allow anyone turn me back into what I was, not even you.”
He was terrified of losing her—and he was losing her anyway.
“Nayla….ˮ He could fix this. He just needed to make her understand what he was up against. He would hold the strands together by sheer will if he had to. He would figure out what she needed, and he would give it to her. He always did.
“They’re not there.” Malin sprinted into view, his expression a mask of fury and fear.
Grif’s shit rotation took an even steeper nosedive.
43
“Something’s wrong.” Malin closed in, at least four glowing spears clutched in his hand.
In a single movement, Grif unsheathed his weapon and shoved her behind him.
“Did you fucking hear me?” Malin’s voice shook with rage. “The females are not where she said they would be. And I found these just now. All stacked up nice and pretty at the perimeter of our tents, just waiting to be grabbed up and used against us.”
What in the hells?
The others gathered closer, drawn by the shouting. Their expressions were a mix of worry and shock.
Grif kept his weapon raised. “Drop those spears now and put your hands up.”
“I am not the threat here,” roared Malin. He glared over Grif’s shoulder. “Are these spears part of some ambush? Did you destroy yours because you knew you’d have these? Are you supposed to use them against us?”
“No.” Nayla’s voice shook with fury. “I on your side.”
“Malin, calm down.” Grif studied the spears in his teammate’s hand.
“Calm down? How can I?