I only glance back once at the looming structure before I trudge through the immaculate grounds toward my destination.
It’s chaos.
The carnival is blinding chaos.
And I welcome it.
With a blinding smile on my face, I follow a group of rowdy teenagers in through the entrance. They laugh so freely, as if they have not a single care in the world. They walk past the vibrant lights and the packed food stands, as if they’ve seen it all, done it all a million times, and I’m sure they have. Whereas I’ve never experienced any of it. I soak it in. The aggressive smells are so pungent they damn-near curl on my tongue. I marvel at the sounds of children screaming in fear and joy on rides. There are loud dings and pops from people trying their luck at various booths. It’s on overload to my senses as I try to keep up with everything that is seemingly happening all at once. I take in the multitude of families, the young children gripping their prized stuffed animals, others walking around with bright blue and pink sticks of cotton candy. Ice creams wobble perilously over cones, dripping over tiny fingers.
It’s beautiful.
Exhilarating.
I spin in a slow circle, taking in the bright flashes of colors, the blaring carousel music that is seemingly coming from nowhere and everywhere. It’s a burst of color in a world of black and white. I jerk to a halt in the center of the walkway when I spot the Ferris wheel up ahead. The colorful lights are a siren, calling to me. People pay me no mind; it’s like I’m invisible to everyone. They skirt around me, only a few tossing a rude “move it” over their shoulders.
Rubbing my damp palms down my floral sundress, I force my feet to move. I brush past large groups of people that are blocking my way, letting their laughter roll right off me. Dirt kicks up against my ankles, and I welcome the foreign sensation.
With only a few people in line to get on, I stand there, waiting patiently, people watching. The wind whips my hair around my face, causing a slight chill to roll through me. If I was smart, I would’ve thought to change before leaving, but that was the very last thing on my mind. I just wanted out. It was my eighteenth birthday, and I deserved a single night out, even if it just was at some foolish carnival.
Craning my head back, I stare up at the looming metal structure. It’s painted white with hundreds of colorful light bulbs scattered along the bars. The seats are a variation of colors. From red to blue to green to yellow, then the pattern starts back at red. The wheel goes around and around, slowly coming to a stop as each person or couple gets off.
“Ticket!”
I jump at the man’s sharp voice. I didn’t even realize when the people in front of me moved and got on. Dressed like you’d imagine all carnies, the man stands there, with a slight beer belly, looking less than enthused with me. With his hand outstretched between us, he’s blocking the gate, keeping me from entering. I frown at him.
“Ticket for what?”
“You need a ticket to get on. The booths are over by the entrance. Next!” he calls out, dismissing me.
Feeling heat rise to my cheeks in embarrassment, I step out of line, searching for this ticket booth he’s talking about. I didn’t bring my purse and I have no cash on me, so the chances of me getting on this Ferris wheel, or any ride here, are slim. I might be able to barter with this ticket seller, maybe beg some unsuspecting teen or child for an extra ticket, but all that seems pretty drastic, considering it’s just a simple ride.
Heaving a sigh, I turn on my heels, heading toward the booths anyway. A group of kids chasing each other run past me, nearly knocking me over. I shoot the boys a glare over my shoulder, and in the process, I crash into a warm body.
“Oh, my God! I’m so sorr—”
My mouth snaps shut.
Ice floods my veins.
The warmth of this stranger’s hands sear into my skin, but the smell, the smell is what hits me first. Despite being out here with so many other scents surrounding us, I’d know this one anywhere. It’s deeply ingrained in my memory.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I glance up, and my breath catches. There is suddenly a vise