I glanced at my smartwatch. “We don’t have a lot of time.”
“It won’t take long. I just wanted to know—”
“Why we didn’t go all the way last night?”
She laughed. “Jeez, you make it sound like we’re still sixteen. But yeah. I mean, I’m not going to be coy and say it was because you didn’t want me. Because I know you did.”
I bit the inside of my lip to keep from smiling. So like Kat. As honest as ever. No pretensions, no games. No manipulations. No fishing for a compliment though she was goddamn-well worthy of nearly all of them.
“I just didn’t think it was wise to jump into something like that without…”
“… discussing it first?” She nodded, her eyes widening with obvious hope. “Hence my desire to have a discussion about it now.”
I swallowed. “I’ve jumped into things in the past and they were the biggest mistakes of my life. I don’t jump anymore.”
She frowned slightly and then nodded. “Okay. So what should we discuss? I’m on birth control and I’m clean. I’ve been checked since my last—since last time.”
Last time. Huh. A streak of jealousy sliced through me to think of some other guy having what I’d denied myself last night. What I wanted more and more with each passing day and yet wouldn’t allow myself to have.
“Uh, huh. It’s not really that I wanted to discuss, though that is important. I’m also clean and it’s been a while.”
She blinked as if surprised.
I cleared my throat. “But there’s more. I don’t like—I don’t think we should start anything physical.”
Her face clouded. “Well, newsflash. We already did do physical stuff. And you started it.”
I ran a hand through my hair, gritting my teeth so that my jaw muscles bulged. “I mean, we shouldn’t take it any further.”
“Because…?”
“Because we work together…”
“But we’re married.”
I shook my head. “But soon-to-be divorced, remember? And trust me, working together will be more than just awkward if we’ve had a physical relationship and then ended it.”
Her eyebrows twitched together. “Why worry about awkward? I’ve never worried about that. Who gives a shit?”
“I don’t really care what other people think.” I shrugged. “I’m talking about our feelings, our…” I cleared my throat, trying to find the words.
Her eyes narrowed. “Our own emotions? You think I’m going to get emotionally involved?”
I flicked a glance at her. It wasn’t just her I was worried about, but I had no problem allowing her to believe just that.
“Also I don’t want you to think I expect sex as a payment for doing this whole marriage thing for you.”
Her face clouded, and she pushed herself up to a full sitting position. “Uh, why on earth would I think that?”
I shrugged. “Because it’s a power imbalance. Like if I was your boss…”
“If you were my boss, I’d have to kick your ass on a daily basis. But this whole payment thing… it assumes that I don’t like or want sex and would only be doing it for you.”
I froze. I guess she was right about that…
She leaned toward me and I enjoyed a full view of her mouth-watering cleavage. Reluctantly, I tore my eyes away, frustrated at my own body and my constant reaction to her. I had zero control where she was concerned. And, I’d just had two orgasms in the past ten hours that hadn’t been enough to get my mind off how much I wanted her. I was still as hungry as an apex predator during migration season.
“Newsflash. Girls like sex, too. Some of us love it, as a matter of fact.”
Oh gawd. That was about the last thing I needed to hear. Blinking, I ran a hand through my hair. It felt a lot shakier than before just remembering what she’d sounded like when she’d climaxed. “Yeah, that was kind of a stupid thing for me to say.”
She shook her head. “Aren’t you at least a little curious about how we’d be together?”
Curious? No. More like obsessed. I pressed my lips together. “I just think there’s too much potential for problems.”
“We have an agreed-upon expiration date, right? No harm, no foul.” Her eyes dropped to my lips and she slowly licked hers with that pink devil tongue of hers. That tongue that had wreaked havoc on my senses the previous night. The one that had made me want to throw caution to the wind.