air. Something had to give me a fresh perspective. “What is the sect afraid of other than the Taglioni mafia family, losing control over the people you’ve drawn into the realm?”
“That’s part of it.”
“There’s more. What aren’t you telling me?” Matteo took a deep breath but said nothing. “Damn it, Matteo. Maybe you didn’t know me before you met me in that greenhouse, but a quick conversation with my parents would have allowed you to learn I’m not a stupid woman nor will I stand by like some timid housewife. I also believe in right and wrong, something it doesn’t seem occurs often within the community. If you think I’m going to simply allow bad things to happen to good people, you’re wrong.”
“Good people?” he finally asked as he tilted his head in my direction. “What good people would you be talking about, Winter? Are you talking about every member of the Sacred Sect, all of which have dirty little secrets in their closets? Or perhaps the various people that have been paid very well to perform certain jobs over the course of a hundred years, even though their proclivities are the things nightmares are made of? Maybe you’re talking about the politicians who think their shit doesn’t stink while asking for, no, begging for our help in order to get elected. Perhaps it’s even the top executives of the Fortune 500 companies who wouldn’t have had a chance at rising to the top without our assistance. Which group of individuals are you talking about precisely?”
The vehemence of his words and the gritty honesty of what he was saying were both disgusting and introspective. He’d ripped off the veil, allowing me into a portion of the inner sanctum. “Lies. Everything is a lie and one day it’s going to take down the sect no matter what you or Christian or this great Council try and do to protect it.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “Everything isn’t a lie, Winter. As I said, without the power and influence of the sect, thousands upon thousands of people would be without a job. However, you are right in that one day our magnificent Camelot will come crumbling to the ground.”
“Camelot,” I repeated. “I could imagine if we lived in such a special place.”
“Well, if certain secrets were ever found out, hundreds of people that the world thinks are decent would be ruined, destroyed, Camelot going up in flames. That would undermine the very make up of everything we’ve all worked to achieve, that happiness you were just telling me about. And I assure you that it will have a trickledown effect to the outside world.”
If he’d wanted to scare me more than the threats made by mobsters, he’d succeeded. I’d been so worried about my own predicament that I hadn’t thought about the community as a whole, although a part of me didn’t want to care about anyone else. Everything was muddled, my heart racing.
I looked him in the eyes before asking the question. “Secrets. Including yours?”
I expected flippancy. When he lowered his head, his breathing becoming rattled, I moved closer.
“Tell me what is going on. Talk to me,” I pleaded.
“I can’t burden you with my ugliness. That isn’t any fairer than asking you to marry someone you don’t love.” He snorted after issuing the words, holding his glass toward the sky. He wasn’t going to confide in me. He wasn’t going to allow that damn guard of his down for longer than three seconds.
A rush of anger flowed into my system.
“But as you said, there is no choice. We have to go through with the ceremony, even if in name only. We can pretend if that’s what is necessary.” The edge in my voice was unmistakable.
“Pretend. Now, that really brings me the kind of joy that you were talking about. Don’t you think I want some of those things? I want them more than the air I breathe. I want to feel the burning love that keeps me awake at night, tossing and turning. I want to explore the darkness I feel inside as well as the fantasies and you know what? Maybe I do want to have children one day. That is what life means after all. But they won’t be treated the way my brother and I were. They won’t be forced to go to boarding school or placated with expensive toys just to keep them quiet. They will have the love and support of their parents. They will have everything