The frustration is pouring from him, but he thankfully closes his lips to let me continue. “I can’t keep doing this to myself, Jake. I have to break away. As much as it kills me, I have no other choice but to cut the cord and ignore whatever’s left that’s pulling us together.” He goes to speak again, but I don’t give him the chance. “You have a child on the way.” Jake lets out a deep, resigned sigh. “This baby—above all else—is what’s most important right now. I know that, and I know for a fact that you know that too. And as much as it pains me to say this, you need to be there for her now.” I flit my eyes to Stella who’s standing at the door, desperately trying to listen to what I’m saying. I know if she could hear me, there would be satisfaction on her face. All I can see written on her face right now is curiosity.
I turn back to Jake, my full concentration on him now. I don’t want to ever look at her again. “Please, Jake … let me get over you.”
The moment I see the tears well in his eyes, I almost falter. His mouth opens before he swallows hard, and it takes every single bit of effort I have left to get the rest of the words out. “Let me try and live my life at least happy in the knowledge that you’re taking care of my…” I’m about to say my sibling, but then Jake doesn’t know what I do yet. At least, I don’t think he does. “Taking care of your and Stella’s baby. They are your priority right now. Not me.”
Knowing I can’t say anymore, I turn to leave, but not before noticing that Jake’s about to say something. Thankfully, he keeps quiet as I open the door to get into my car. But just as I’m about to close my door, he whispers, “I can’t let you go.”
Looking up, I see the defeated but also determined look in his eyes. I know full well how that feels, but it is what it is, and he has to be made to see that. So just before I close my door, I answer back.
“You have to.”
I swiftly shut my door and start the car, the tires screeching in my attempt to leave as quickly as possible. I know he’ll be angry. I know he’ll be upset, and I know he’ll be turning to Stella for answers. But I also know that no matter what it doesn’t change the one and only fact staring—no—shouting at me in my face.
He’s about to become a father to my mother’s baby.
19
It’s early afternoon when I get a phone call from Michael asking if he can come over as he needs to speak with me about something. Intrigued, I tell him sure. Jessie still isn’t back yet, so the apartment’s quiet. A little too quiet. All the doors are locked up tight, so I feel safe enough. However, the knowledge that Alan is out there somewhere, possibly watching my every move, sits in the corner of my mind, taunting me. If it wasn’t for what transpired with Jake earlier this morning, Alan would be all I’m thinking about. I have to laugh at that fact—like it’s something I should be grateful for.
Within twenty minutes, Michael arrives, a richly smelling cheese pizza in tow, making my stomach growl. I haven’t been able to eat at all since my run in with Jake and my mother.
“That smells gorgeous!” I beam, stepping out of the way to let him through.
“I hope you’re hungry?” he asks, making his way into the living room and setting the pizza down on the coffee table.
“I actually didn’t realize I was until I got a waft of that smell.” I don’t tell him, but I’ve felt too nauseous to even contemplate putting food in my mouth. But now that I’ve calmed some and the pizza is here, smelling all kinds of gorgeous, I believe I could more than just eat it. I suspect I’ll ravish it.
We both take a seat together on the couch, and he opens the pizza box, handing me a slice. “Good, because there’s too much here to eat all by myself.” He glances around the apartment. “No Jessie?”
“She’s with Jerry. I think she’s due back early evening.” He nods his head, and we both tuck into the pizza, groaning our pleasure. After my second bite,